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“It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” I try to reassure her as I slide my gun into the back of my jeans. Then I pull my knife free as she whimpers. I step closer and grab her hands, cutting through the rope that bound her. Then I pull the gag from her mouth as tears roll down her cheeks.
“What’s happening?” she asks.
“Got one in here,” I call out before turning back to her. “You’re gonna go home, darlin’. You’re free.”
“What?”
“You’re free now.” Her eyes tell of her sadness and pain, but I also see the glimmer of hope in them. She’s free now. She can go home to her family. She can go home and begin to heal from this. The woman nods her head as I help her to her feet. I turn around to lead her out of the room when I feel the gun being pulled from the back of my jeans. I spin around just in time to see her press it against her head and pull the trigger.
My heart breaks. My stomach lurches. It takes everything I have not to bend over and throw up.
“What the fuck?” Demon asks when he steps into the room.
“She took my gun when I turned around,” I tell him. I walk over and pull my gun from her hand before stuffing it back into my jeans.
“Fuck!” Drake growls before leaving the room. I can’t do anything. I just stand and stare at her lifeless body. A body that’s been used and abused. I can’t even imagine what must have been going through her head, what she must have felt.
I swallow hard when Demon slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“We can’t save them all,” he says softly.
“I know.”
“You tried, Cross.”
“Did I?”
“Don’t do this to yourself. You couldn’t have seen that comin’.”
“She was fucked up. I should have seen it in her eyes.”
“Don’t do this, brother.”
“I gotta get out of here,” I tell him, turning on my heel and stalking from the room. I need space. I need air. The vision of her standing there with my gun in her hand will forever haunt me.
The guys clear the house quickly as I return to the van. I didn’t plan on seeing that shit today. I didn’t plan on watching a woman take her own life. Something about that doesn’t sit well with me. I should have stopped her. I should have done more. Fuck!
“Don’t beat yourself up, Cross. You know how many kids we potentially saved tonight from those assholes?”
“And yet I couldn’t save one fuckin’ woman.”
“She made her choice. Maybe it was too much to deal with, and she thought that was her only way out,” he says. I nod my head. He’s probably right, but that doesn’t make me feel better. She still killed herself right in front of me.
I lean my head back and ignore the conversation around me. I think about Raven and how that could have been her. She could have been so badly broken that she just wanted it to end. She could have taken her own life, but she didn’t. Instead, she’s back at the clubhouse waiting for me. At least, I hope she is. She said she would be. The thought of her not being there tears at something in my chest. We’ve come so far. We’ve done so much. We’ve helped each other more than she realizes.
“You good?” Demon asks after the silence in the van lingers.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Thinkin’ about your girl?” he asks.
“She isn’t my girl.”
“She could be,” he says.
“She doesn’t want to be. We’ve talked about that. She doesn’t want a relationship.”
“You broke up with Cara for her?” Demon asks.
