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This time, Writer, Director, and Producer were all the same guy. Everyone thought a portion of their life would make a good movie, but in Andrew’s case he was probably right. He’d backpacked around the world after high school, and started one of the biggest internet porn companies in the world in the process. I was pretty sure no one else could say both. Plus his whole story was tied off with the gorgeous bow ofand then I met the woman who would become my wife, and she saved me.
Andrew had realized a few days ago that even though he wanted to do this whole production himself, go full-on indie, that maybe having another set of eyes on the script, an objective individual, was a good idea.
It was rare that I handled passion projects like this—the people in charge didn’t tend to like anyone disagreeing with them—but I liked Andrew and his story, and he seemed like he’d actually listen. My contract said he had to, or I walked, so there was also that.
I checked the map on my phone that I’d been sent of the set. Rather than being on a familiar sound stage in L.A., we were in the middle of Salt Lake City, because that’s where most of the movie was being filmed. Somewhere in this giant building, there was supposed to be a room set up for a table read. But none of the doors in this image matched what I saw in front of me.
You lost? A voice from the past whispered in my ear, and I was instantly back on set for the first time, twenty years ago.
When I’d seen him for the first time, there hadn’t been sparks or choirs of singing angels. We were twelve, I barely knew I liked boobs and had no idea I was going to like dicks just as much. All I knew was that he was a friendly face, smiling and not looking mean and impatient like the adults around us.
Yeah, I’d admitted shyly.I’m supposed to be on the set of Donovan’s Wilde Ride.
He’d grabbed my hand and tugged me in a completely different direction than the one I'd been walking in.I’m Donovan, I know where you’re supposed to be. Actually, I’m Austin.
Elijah, actually Eli.I’d wanted to sound as cool and casual as he did.
Oh yeah, you’re going to be my new best friend. Wicked.
I was pretty sure he’d meantnew best friendon the show, but we’d become fast friends in real life too.
“Jaws. You lost?” Andrew’s voice broke into my traipse into the past. It was my understanding he called very few people by their real names, and I was lucky my nickname wasn’t food-related.
I shook away the shadows of memory—where did those come from? “Can’t find the room for the table read.”
He leaned in to look at my phone over my shoulder. “Right.” He grabbed my shoulders and spun me a quarter turn. “I tried to tell them a map without an indicator of north was just a picture.”
Sure enough, now that I could tell which way was which, I knew exactly where I needed to be. “Thanks.”
“Let’s go.” Andrew fell into step beside me, and we headed to our destination.
Most of the actors were already here, seated around the table, shuffling through screenplays and chatting with each other. Though I’d worked with several people in the room before, I still got starstruck being surrounded by so many of them.
Just as many of the faces were new this time, though. Andrew wanted to work with some of the actors who had done movies for him when he owned Smut Central. Give them a chance to switch to clothed theater if they were interested.
He put me in the seat next to him at the front of the room, we all introduced ourselves, and dove into our first reading of the screenplay.
Today my biggest job was to listen and make notes. I had thoughts about what kind of changes were needed, but I’d get a more complete picture as I heard the way everything was performed.
When I’d been fired fromDonovan,years ago, when I realized I’d been blacklisted as an actor, I’d been devastated. Seventeen years old and my career was over, and I was certain it was Austin’s fault.
He still had his job, though we’d both been equal participants in the quietlosing our virginity to each otherscandal, so it must’ve been his fault.
The first time I was offered the chance to help fix a script, I fell into it easily. I loved the creativity, and I got to step back into this world that had an energy I thrived on.
For the most part I’d gotten over how things ended with Austin, though sometimes the past still slammed into me, like earlier today.
The story was told chronologically, starting when Andrew was younger, but there were also flashbacks later in life, to those same younger years.
He hadn’t budged on that when we talked, but I hoped seeing it today, seeing that it was going to be confusing to do things both ways, would change his mind.
Listening to the younger actors go through his growing up was fine—they were great. His teenage years, especially once he hit South American, flowed smoothly too. I scribbled a lot of notes, but they were mostly about polishing things, not about having to make any huge changes.
And then we moved closer tonow. Adult Andrew talking to his nephew about figuring out his sexuality when he was younger. About how he’d fallen for his best friend at the time. They’d known each other for so long, the attraction was so strong, but they didn’t end up together.
I was back in my past again, watching a montage of growing up on set with Austin. Us getting closer, inseparable. People called us brothers, but I was pretty sure most brothers didn’t feel about each other the way I had about him.
His first kiss had been on camera, and awkward. He hated doing that in front of the world. So I’d offered to let him have a second chance at a first kiss, away from the cameras.
