Page 10 of Old Made Man


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I’ll die without it.

8.

Silver

Sunday evening and the storm’s slowly settling. My weekend at Relic’s is almost over and I got work tomorrow, but we’ve already decided that I’m moving in. Putting up a small painting I found in a box in the corner, I polish it with my sleeve and take a step back to admire it. This place is already getting a bit more color but it still feels haunted and it can’t stay that way if I’m supposed to live here.

I throw a glance at Relic who’s doing some paperwork by the kitchen table and I swallow nervously. Jumping up on the kitchen counter, I wrap Relic’s shirt tighter around me and he throws a greedy glance at my dangling legs but I don’t encourage him because things need to be sorted out between us. Though I do look forward to us making love again because the man’s a machine, the resilience, the stamina...he can go on forever.

“When I was a kid,” I begin, dragging a breath and he raises a brow, “we lived in a pretty nice area but it was just my dad and me and things weren’t that great between us.” Relic throws me a grave stare and I add in a low tone, “He would come home really late at night, bringing strange men over and forgetting I was in the room next door.”

“Silver...,” Relic says in a saddened tone and I shrug.

“The neighborhood kids didn’t like him. He was pretty shady and the kind that made toddlers cry if he just looked at them.” I pinch my lips. “He died years ago...” I trail off, pulling my sleeves further down my arms and throw him a careful glance.

He nods, his gaze clear with compassion and he murmurs, “Thank you for telling me.”

That’s it? I let out an impatient sigh. “Ric, haven’t you ever heard of quid pro quo? I tell you about my past, now you have to tell me yours.”

“I’m not much for rules, little girl,” he mutters, returning to his papers. “You should know that by now.”

“Well, I’m not into secrets, big guy,” I pout and his shoulders move in a shrug.

“You are when they’re mine. They’re too fucked up to tell.”

“There’s no way they can be that bad.” Beginning to grow nervous because I’m imagining all kinds of scenarios now, I ask, “Why do you have to be such a stiff upper lip?”

His head whips my way, his eyes narrowing. “You ever feel that restlessness inside of you, Silver,” he asks, “that restlessness crying out to be held by your other half, because I sure fucking feel it.” He heatedly points at his chest. “I need you to love me one day and if I tell you the truth that damn day will never come.”

Gulping, I breathe, “How can I ever truly love you if you remain a stranger?”

Relic flinches as if I just slapped him and he hangs with his head. I want to go over and wrap my arms around him and tell him everything will be okay but I can’t do that right now. I need toknow.

“Who’s Heidi?” I whisper and his lids shudder with pain. Leaning back, he rubs his eyes and I want to hug him and never let go.

“Heidi was a kid who used to live years ago.”

Used to live? My heart clenches and I feel guilty for pushing him to do this but I still nod for him to continue.

“It happened one stormy night, similar to this one. I was going over to a man’s house to talk to him about one of our businesses, the bookkeeping was off and we suspected he’d been scamming us.” He drags a hand down his face. “I’d brought one of our new recruits with me, a rookie which later on turned out to be a mistake.”

“How come?” I whisper and Relic turns white in the face as suppressed emotions come to the surface.

“When I pressured the man about the books, he began talking back and then things got physical. He attacked me and I pulled out my gun and well...finished him.” Relic leans forward, dragging a pained breath. “What we didn’t know was that he had a little daughter. She came out from her room, wondering what was going on and she caught the rookie off guard.”

“No,” I pant, close to hyperventilating now and Relic nods.

“He shot her. I picked her up and ran with her in my arms to the hospital but they couldn’t save her.” He tenses before raising a hand, swiping it across the table until papers fly everywhere, croaking, “They couldn’t save her.”

Tears stream down my eyes, my arms reaching out for him when he lets out a curse and storms out. “Ric, don’t go!” I cry, running after him and I gasp when I catch him by the edge of the cliff, staring out over the sea and the wind is so furious, I struggle to get to him. I put a hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off as if he doesn’t want his pain soothed.

“They couldn’t save her and it was all my fault,” he rasps, his eyes distant and glassy but I clutch him and shake him.

“Listen! That kid...that’s me,” I press my face closer to his, “I’m Heidi. Heidi Silverton!”

His eyes glaze over as if I’ve lost my mind and I lick my lips. “The hospital told you I was dead because of my father’s involvement with the Nordic’s. They thought you all would come after me too and I was smuggled from the hospital by cops. I lived under witness protection until a couple of years ago when they figured the coast was clear.”

Relic grinds his teeth before his jaw slacks and I shake him again. “I’m Heidi, dammit, do you hear me? You didn’t hurt her. I survived and I’m standing right here.”

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