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Has she ever shared a bed with a man before?
I don’t think she has, because she wouldn’t struggle to breathe if she was used to this. “Well, good night,” she abruptly says, turning over to her side and giving me her back when I need to see her face. Her hair is so long, it reaches all the way over to me and I pet the ends, hoping she’s not able to feel it.
“Ava?” I rasp. “I know you’re not sleeping. “ Her adrenaline must still be running high. “You don’t have to pretend.”
She turns around again, causing her breasts to sway beneath her cotton nightgown and I bite down on my lip to stop myself from letting out a curse. Clasping a hand under her face, she murmurs, “Have you ever been in love?”
The question embarrasses me and I’m happy it’s dark because I have a feeling I’m blushing. I’m an experienced man, I’ve seen and done most things but I have never had a taste of that thing called love. “No,” I rasp.” When she nods carefully, I add, “Have you?”
I wait, tense as a log in the dark for the answer.
“Never. Though I’ve had several movie screen crushes...”
“They don’t count,” I snap, wondering in annoyance why women always have to be fascinated with actors.
“Then no,” she breathes, “but I don’t think love is my thing and I hope nobody ever falls in love with me.” She pinches her lips as if genuinely concerned about the possibility and my heart starts thrashing in my chest.
“That’s not up for you to decide.” My brows draw in anger because I’m already feeling something for her and she turns to look at me.
“I suppose you can’t control other people’s feelings,” she murmurs, raising her brows, “but you can control your own and I’m never giving my heart to anyone.” She puts her hand on her chest as if she’s protecting it. Protecting it fromme.
Something snaps in the back of my head and for a moment, I see red and I want to shake her. “What damn right do you have to be so fucking stingy with your heart?” I growl and she twitches, staring at me until the whites of her eyes show.
“It’s mine,” she cries. “I can do whatever I want with it.”
No, she can’t. Not anymore. I’m after that heart and I want it even more, now that she refuses to give it. I’m already addicted to her and now there’s a possibility she won’t ever satisfy me with the full dose.
“Ava...,” I say in a flat voice, “don’t you know it’s not nice not to share?” My pulse pounds in my temples and the bed seems to spin. This isn’t what I expected but the way she said it was so determined. A knot tortures my throat and my muscles feel like stone, tense as hell while she’s completely unware of what she’s doing to me.
“There’s no law that says a woman has to give her heart away is there?” she murmurs, squirming a little and now I never want to let her go. I thought all women wanted their hearts taken care of by a man but Ava’s apparently a little rebel.
“If that heart is highly desired, she might not have a choice but to give it.”
Flabbergasted, she stares at me and I realize my tone must’ve been too heated. For a moment, she sits up before falling back down and she swallows. “My rules are different than yours.”
I groan, gritting, “Why do you have to be so difficult?”
“Harm!” she suddenly yells in a shrill voice. “Don’t tell me you’re getting so worked up because you w...want it?”
“So what if I do?”
Her eyes flare and she pants, “N...no, whatever’s happening between us it can’t go that deep.”
Too damn late. I already want her so much, I feel like an open target. I’m unarmed around her and my emotions feel crowded in my chest. They gang up on me, angry that I’ve pushed my humanity down for so long and they want to explode on her. She needs to be able to take it, even if it means gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes because my feelings for her aren’t going anywhere.
“Why are you so afraid of being loved,” I demand to know and she turns her face away. “Tell me and damn it, don’t make me hold my breath.”
“There’s no use,” she finally whispers, shuddering, “it’s pointless.”
“Pointless to whom?” I drawl. “Because it sure as fuck isn’t to me.”
“This conversation’s over,” she pleads, her voice filled with a distress that makes my heart clench. “Please, don’t ask me about this again.”
Deciding that I better mellow down, before she bolts out of the bed again, I nod. But my body can’t calm down, it’s worked up, beating like a drum in protest to her refusal. “I’ll leave your heart alone,” I lie, “In exchange for your body.”
Ava’s mouth opens in a pant and she clutches the comforter. “You can have my body,” she gasps as her chest heaves up and down, “as long as you promise not to fall in love with me...” She trails off, panting raggedly when I slide my fingertips down her lips. They feel indecently soft against my abrasiveness and she wets them when she licks her lips. The flick of her tongue makes me groan and I cup her neck, pulling her face closer to mine.
Her eyes are wide, waiting and I press our mouths together. They clasp as if they’ve never been apart, my tongue sliding inside between her lips before plunging into the depths of her sweetness. Moaning, she puts a hand on my shoulder, swirling her tongue against mine and her breaths are coming out increasingly fast.
