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"We've had this discussion, sweetheart," he says gently. "I'm not sending my men to fight a war that I won't join myself."
"Going to my father's home is playing into his hands. He's ruthless, Antonio."
Antonio laughs, still unbothered. It irritates me because the thought of him going nearly brings me to my knees.
"It should annoy me that you don't think I can be downright brutal when dealing with men who fuck with me or what belongs to me."
“That’s not it. I’m not denying my husband can be that. I'm not staring at the dark world with rose-colored glasses. I mean, I don't want to see that side of you, but I know it’s there. I just think you're different because I know you have good in you. My father and some of my brothers never had that," I tell him. “They are not honorable. You are.”
“I’ve discussed your brothers with Marco. I will give Elias, Sebastian and Gio a choice. I can't allow the same with the other two, Lina. Don't ask that of me," he says firmly.
"All I'm asking of you is for you to come back home to me. You made me marry you. I'd prefer you don't make me a widow." I try to sound like I'm teasing, but the sadness tinging my voice gives me away.
His smile melts away some worry as he slides his hand between my legs, cupping me. "And give up this sweet cunt shaped for my cock and my cock alone? Never going to happen."
"Be still, my racing heart," I tease, unable to hide my laughter as my cheeks warm with a blush. I'm still not used to his shameless behavior, especially when there's an audience and he gets a reaction from me. "You're such a sweet talker."
He gathers me into his arms, staring at me. "You're happy."
It's not a question. I don't even have to think about it.
"I am. Thank you for surprising me with Helen and this whole night out thing."
"I didn't give you a big wedding. The least I can do is give you a late bachelorette party as long as you promise no male strippers."
"I don't want any. They'd pale in comparison to the smoke show I have in my bed every night."
I catch him off guard, and he barks out a strangled chuckle. "Smoke show?"
"Oh yeah," I practically moan. Maybe, I shouldn't stroke his ego so hard, but I can’t help it.
Antonio shakes his head. "As much as I’d really like drunk sex with you, no drinking until you get those test results back."
My hand drops to my stomach nervously. My heart starts to race as my stomach churns. I need it to be negative. Mainly because the threat of my father is looming over us, but even more so because I need to confess a few things to my husband. The guilt rolls in my belly. I lied to him about so much our first night together. I will tell him soon, but I have bigger worries right now.
I've been getting sick here and there. Since I’ve never actually taken birth control, I know there's a big chance I'm pregnant. Not to mention the fact that I was reckless our first night together, and he doesn't even know that either. Ugh, who am I? I shouldn't be keeping secrets. The guilt in my stomach doubles as I realize the confessions are piling up.
Although I feel that Antonio is hoping I'm pregnant, I have no idea how to feel about it myself. A child this soon isn't something I want, but with every day that passes, I fall deeper in love and into the safety I've never had before. I would cherish a child and never make them believe they are worthless like my father made me feel.
Antonio lifts my chin until my eyes meet his, and I realize how long I’ve been internally stewing.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asks softly.
"Yeah. Levi and Zane are taking us to the bar you rented out so we can drop by the clinic."
"I want to know as soon as you do," he tells me intently.
"There's no point. We can talk about it when I get home tonight, and if I'm not, I'll be drunk, and you can show me how fun drunk sex is."
He laughs. "Okay, it's a deal, but how will you feel if you're pregnant,il mio tesoro?"
"Um...I'll be okay. My husband is very good at showing me he wants me and won't grow tired of me."
"Your father has done a lot of shit he deserves my wrath for, but the fact that he made you second guess yourself and feel like you aren't so fucking beautiful and special that it hurts, is probably his worst crime."
"And that's another reason I'm not worried about being pregnant. You won't care if we have a girl."
His smile melts away the worry in my gut. "A miniature version of her mother to spoil and protect? I’d be fucking grateful, Lina."
