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I couldn’t help breathing it in…and wondering what he was doing in the bathing chamber. He had said he was going to “take care of himself.” Did that mean what I thought it meant? Surely not! But what if it did?
I was so innocent I wasn’t even sure how a male would go about “taking care of himself”—or indeed, what a male looked like with his breeches off. But that didn’t stop me from trying to imagine what might be happening behind the closed door.
These thoughts and imaginings made me restless and I tossed and turned, wishing I could stop the strange feelings that Liath had somehow caused in me when he touched me and kissed me.
I wished I could touch myself—I wanted to run my hands over my breasts and nipples and maybe even press the magic button between my legs that gave such intense pleasure—but I knew I must not. My early lessons, where my old nurse had bound my arms to my sides for days for the sin of reaching between my legs, were too strongly ingrained in me. I must not touch myself or take pleasure in my own body—it was wrong.
I closed my eyes and tried to think of calming things—the shadows of the forest and the cool breeze blowing through the trees… It wasn’t easy, but slowly I began to feel calmer and even drowsy.
At last, just as I was finally drifting off, Liath emerged. He was freshly bathed and was wearing a long pair of soft sleep trousers. His eyes flicked to the night table, where his dagger was still where he had put it.
“Have you decided not to kill me after all, then, little bird?” he asked, as he slid into the bed beside me.
I frowned up at him.
“Not now, anyway. Not until I find out what really happened to my brother.”
Liath’s face went grim.
“You’re not the only one who wants to know. But there’s no finding out tonight.”
He yawned hugely and settled into his side of the bed—which was also part of the middle, since he was so big. “Will you come here and cuddle with me on our first night of marriage?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at me and spreading out one arm in invitation.
“Cuddle with you?” I looked at him mistrustfully. “Is that all we’d do—just cuddle?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Did you forget that just a little while ago you were naked in my arms begging for ‘more,’ little bird?”
I felt my cheeks get hot with embarrassment and I frowned at him.
“That was your magic making me act that way. I couldn’t help it—you made it feel like soft fur was brushing over my body.”
Liath gave me an interested look.
“Is that what my magic feels like to you?”
“You know it does,” I protested, but he shook his head.
“No, of course I don’t. I can’t make it ‘feel’ any particular way—I just do it. But the very fact that you’re so sensitive to the feeling of someone else’s magic proves you have strong magic of your own.”
“It proves no such thing,” I said, frowning. “All my life I’ve tried to do magic—and all my life I’ve failed.”
Liath arched an eyebrow at me.
“All your life you thought you weren’t beautiful and yet now you know you are.”
I felt my cheeks get hot and opened my mouth to protest, but he beat me to it.
“Don’t say you’re not again—you’re fucking gorgeous. Own your beauty, Alira.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I was still tempted to feel uncertain about my looks, but the way Liath was looking at me, his bronze eyes half-lidded with desire, gave me a shot of self confidence. He saw me as beautiful and that enabled me to see myself the same way.
So what if I didn’t fit the Seelie Court’s definition of beauty—neither did Liath, with his horns and his gray skin and his scar and his huge stature—but I found him extremely handsome and desirable—much more so than I should, I was sure. Why should only skinny, pale Fae maidens be beautiful? Why couldn’t I, with my full curves and dark hair and eyes, be beautiful too?
“You are beautiful,” Liath rumbled. “So fucking gorgeous it makes my shaft ache—though I shouldn’t say that since I don’t want to scare you.”
I frowned at him.
“Are you reading my mind?”
He shook his head.
“No—I only catch thoughts here and there.” He pointed to his horns. It’s because I’m part Manticore. Also, you think very loudly, little bird. I knew you wanted to kill me long before you snuck out of the bathing chamber and took my dagger—I just wasn’t sure why.”
“You knew?” I demanded. “So…you were just pretending to be asleep earlier? Why?”
He shrugged.
“Thought we might as well get it over with. Also, I was curious to see how far you’d go.”
