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Her mouth dropped open. “Did your dad know?”
“Oh, yeah. He condoned it. Said it would make me a man.” He wouldn’t tell her about his first time now. He’d been thirteen and trembling when his father had shoved Katie, his then-girlfriend, into his room and announced that he was going out drinking. He’d told Katie to put her pussy to good use and left. She’d wanted to please the asshole. They both had. So they’d fucked.
“He doesn’t sound like a good person or a good father. I pray for you,” Jasper offered.
One-Mile had never been one to ask for divine assistance, but if it brought him any absolution, he’d take it. “Thank you.”
“What happened?”
He hated the way Brea’s voice shook and he wanted to reach out, touch her. He didn’t dare until he got this out and unless she said she wanted his touch again. “The summer before I turned sixteen, I got a girlfriend of my own. Allie was twenty. I’d lied and told her I was her age. Dad saw me out with her the night before I left for Wyoming that summer, but I brushed it off. They’d said a polite hello and that was it. But I didn’t hear from Allie much over the next few months. Then again, I was busy. She had a job. I hoped it was fine…but I worried what I’d find when I got home. I never imagined she was shacking up with my dad.”
Brea’s jaw dropped. “He was sleeping with your girlfriend?”
“He didn’t think I would mind sharing since he’d never been stingy. But I was pissed. Even before I left, I knew Allie and I were doomed because she would eventually figure out I’d lied about my age. But she was nice. I’d hoped we could make something for a while.” One-Mile shook his head. “When I got home from Wyoming, she told me she was in love.”
“With your father? How?”
He shrugged. “In retrospect, I think she had self-esteem issues. He treated her as crappy as she expected to be treated. I tried to suck it up and not be too pissed off. But I resented the hell out of him every time I watched them kiss and every time I heard them going at it in the next room. Since some of his other girlfriends, as they were leaving, had made the mistake of telling him they preferred me, I think he secretly liked the fact he’d taken Allie away. Made him feel superior and more manly.”
“That’s horrible.” Brea searched his face like she was trying to understand. “But I hope that isn’t why you killed him.”
“No. I just wanted to punch the shit out of him, but I didn’t. Allie wasn’t right for me and she’d made her choice. To avoid the two of them, I started going out a lot. Drinking, getting high, racing cars. I should have died a hundred times at least.”
“God must have been looking out for you,” Jasper said.
“You’re probably right.” One-Mile didn’t see another explanation. “I have no idea why.”
Except so that he could grow up and love Brea. She was his purpose in life. His mission.
“Anyway, about a month after school started, I came home one night late. I could hear Allie screaming from down the street. I went running and I burst in to see my dad beating the fuck out of her. I thought at first it was because he’d had his fill of her, and I cursed myself for being so absent that I hadn’t seen it coming. But I quickly figured out that she’d broken Dad’s one cardinal rule: never get knocked up.”
Brea gasped. “Did your father know she was pregnant?”
“Yeah. That’s why he was beating her, punching her stomach over and over. I screamed at him to stop. He wouldn’t. I fought him, got in a few punches. But he was meaner. He clocked me good. I stumbled out and called the police, but they were at least ten minutes away. I didn’t think Allie’s baby would last that long. Hell, I doubted she would either.” He swallowed. “I went and got a gun.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Brea paled.
“I fucking demanded he stop. I thought if I threatened him he would. But he didn’t. He just called her a dirty slut, said he didn’t want any more brats, whether they were his…or mine. He told her he was going to deal with her the way he’d dealt with my mom. Then he put his hands around her neck and squeezed.”
“D-did he…kill your mother?” Brea looked horrified.
One-Mile didn’t blame her. “Yeah. And he admitted that like he was proud. So when Allie started choking and turning blue, I knew he’d do it again.”
“So you killed him,” Jasper finished quietly.
“Yeah.” His fucking voice broke.
“Oh…” Brea wrapped her small hands around his. “He didn’t leave you much choice.”
