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“I still want you to let me eat you. You’ll like it. I take it as a personal challenge. I’ll make sure you like it so much you feel like I’ve turned you inside out. In fact, I’m willing to bet on it.”
“Do you usually gamble over sexual favors?” I tried to joke but his fingers were inside me and I was breathless as he stroked me again.
“No, but I want gorgeous tight pussy smothering me when you sit on my face. I need to taste you, Jules.”
I shut my eyes as much from a mix of embarrassment and arousal from his words as I did from the slow torment of his long, calloused fingers. He kissed my shoulder and kept whispering to me, coaxing, talking dirty as I started to buck on his hand. His phone alert sounded, shrill and noisy. I looked over my shoulder at him.
“You should get that,” I managed to say, more sensibly than a I felt.
“No way,” he said, drawing me closer. I pulled away, however reluctantly.
“It could be important. I mean, it’s probably really late.”
I needed to get some space, catch my breath. I scuttled into the tiny bathroom to clean up further. When I emerged, he was sitting on the edge of the bed. His jeans and shirt were back on. He’d been running his hands through his hair, making it messy. I felt a silly smile on my face.
“I have an early meeting at my dad’s firm about a security detail I’m running. When do you have to get up?’
“Not till ten. How early is early?”
“Seven. As in be there at seven. So I get up at five, workout, shower…I should probably shove off then,” he let his breath out in something like a sigh, as if he didn’t really want to leave.
“It’s fine. You can get going,” I said with forced cheerfulness.
It washed over me then, how lonely I’d been earlier, how afraid. The way his size and his commanding presence filled up every corner of my small apartment and crowded me in a warm, comforting way. Being in his arms made me feel safe, and how curling up in my bed with Darren was the closest thing to heaven I’d ever known.
“Maybe not just yet,” he said, ducking in the bathroom.
Darren came back out with his hair wet and slicked down a couple minutes later. I’d felt awkward waiting on him. I had pulled on a nightshirt and used a discarded hair tie to wrestle my tangled hair into a messy bun. Trying to look put together, like I was unbothered by whether he stayed or left. As if I were a composed and mature adult who did this sort of thing all the time.
He sat beside me on the bed and put an arm around me. Part of me, the part that was afraid to trust anyone much less fall for a man, wanted to sit straight and stiff, resist his affectionate gesture. But the real me, the one that survived Eric and refused to break—that part took the wheel and let me melt into his side, my head on his shoulder.
“You call me. I don’t just mean if you want to hit me up—” he had the grace to sound embarrassed. “When you’re anxious or you just don’t want to be by yourself. I’ll sleep on the floor over by that insanely small couch you have. I’ll just be here. Anytime.”
I was floored by the generosity and compassion of his offer, the thoughtfulness and the respectful but unnecessary insistence he’d sleep on the floor. As if I’d want him anywhere but in my bed.
“Don’t be embarrassed to call me. And don’t give it another thought about my brothers. I don’t kiss and tell, for one thing. For another, we’re not jealous of each other. Not over you. You’re not a toy we’d fight over, you’re a woman who makes her own choices. We’ll all respect your choices. Whatever you decide to do or not do, tell or not tell. Your call.”
I hugged him fiercely, a rush of affection consuming me at that.
“I think I needed to hear all of that. Thank you,” I said, “For everything. I know you need to go. I’m a big girl. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Keeping people safe is what I do. But besides being my job, it’s who I am. I protect the people I care about. That includes you. So let me help, anytime you want. If it crosses your mind that you should call me, before you talk yourself out of it, just call.”
Darren cupped my cheek in his hand, kissed the top of my head. “Now get some sleep. After you lock the door.”
I nodded and followed him to the door where he told me good night with a light kiss. I didn’t know what to do after he left. I’d gotten myself into a mess with the Beckett boys. I’d have to take Darren at his word and trust his discretion. As far as whether they’d be jealous of one another or angry with me, I’d deal with that if it happened. I had enough to worry about with Eric on the loose. There was no point making more drama in my personal life. I crashed into bed and slept almost instantly.
