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I was proud of myself for saying it even as I was embarrassed that it was true. I didn’t have anything to fear from Rory, from any of them. They wouldn’t reject me for who I was. I felt cherished and known, accepted, and I wanted him to know that, to understand how precious he was to me, how incredible and life-changing this experience had been.
“Julie,” he said, and I chewed my lip, a little nervous at what he’d say.
I didn’t want pity from him, from anyone. I wanted to be new and strong and courageous. So I was afraid to hear him say he was so sorry I’d been through that. But he didn’t. I waited and when he spoke again, it was clear that he was coming from as solemn and true a place as I had.
“Before you, I never took the risk. I never trusted anyone enough, cared about anyone enough to try for anything real. But you, you feel like home to me. When I’m with you, this is what I’ve always wanted.”
I melted in his arms. I loved knowing how special this was to him, how our connection was personal and intimate and nothing like people would think if they saw it from the outside. It was beautiful and true, and when I met his eyes, he kissed my lips softly, a romantic, slow kiss that stole all my thoughts.
I dozed off in his arms for a few minutes and woke to find him looking at me, a soft smile on his handsome face.
“I’m so happy,” I said.
“Then why do you look like you aren’t?” he asked playfully, touching the worried line between my brows.
“When Kendall finds out about the four of us…she’s going to feel so betrayed. I went behind her back with her brothers. I’m the worst friend.”
“You’re not the worst friend. Kendall may surprise you. She’s got a wild child streak of her own, you know that better than most,” he said. He was so confident that I felt reassured, less guilty about keeping the secret from my best friend.
In his arms, I slept so peacefully. I didn’t wake up until nearly eight in the morning. He was gone, but I remembered that he had an early shift at the station. After I stretched and yawned and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, I took a quick shower and went upstairs. I could hear the other two guys moving around, so I decided to cook them breakfast.
Jeremy and Darren came downstairs at almost the same moment, and I slid the omelets onto plates for them.
“Fruit’s on the table and coffee’s fresh,” I said with a grin.
Both men kissed me, one at a time, and I sat down to eat my omelet with them at the table. As I speared a cube of melon with my fork, I looked back and forth between them. I was so at ease here, so happy. I hated to say what I needed to say.
“It’s nice having a hot breakfast and a beautiful woman waiting for me in the morning,” Jeremy said. “You’re off work today, right?”
“Yeah, I worked a double yesterday. That’s why I was so wiped and slept late.”
“Eight in the morning isn’t late. You know how Kendall sleeps, right?” Jeremy asked.
“I didn’t stay out at work till five in the morning like she does,” I said.
“One in the afternoon is getting up early for our sister,” Jeremy replied. “And I’m glad you’re getting some rest.”
“Thanks. I really have caught up on my sleep in the last few weeks. The fact is, now that Eric’s backed off thanks to you talking to his parole officer, it’s about time I moved back home to my apartment.”
Darren’s eyes flicked up from his omelet, seeming startled but revealing nothing. He was so highly trained in security that I knew better than to expect visible emotion unguarded in his expression. Jeremy just looked serious and thoughtful as usual.
“We were hoping you’d stay,” Jeremy said.
“Yeah,” Darren agreed, typically not as wordy as his brothers. “We wish you’d stick around.”
“I’ve loved it here, but I can’t let Eric take over my life forever. This is harder than I thought, having to tell you I’m moving out, but it’s the right thing. It’s what I want,” I said.
“Say no more,” Jeremy replied. “We’ll help you however we can.”
“Let me run to the store and get some supplies. I’ll put in some security stuff, a new camera. I can take you over there today.”
“I’d like that, Darren, thank you,” I said. They were so supportive, so in favor of whatever made me happy. I was so lucky to have them.
After breakfast, I went back upstairs and packed my stuff. When Darren returned, he drove me to my building. It felt strange walking in there after being away for weeks. I was sort of dreading what the fridge would smell like since I left in a hurry that night. Looking at Darren, I stood straighter, more confident. This was a positive step for me, living by myself again and accepting the help I needed. I watched him unpack several shopping bags worth of security items and sort through his tools for what he needed. Then I started a load of laundry and cleared out the refrigerator, which wasn’t as bad as I expected. Scrubbing it out and vacuuming, I felt stronger, ready to be on my own again. And it was all thanks to the Beckett boys.
