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I smiled faintly again, knowing she was trying to make me laugh. I just couldn’t. Kendall was the best friend in the world, reminding me that she’d be there for me no matter what. I was crazy grateful for her and felt even worse about keeping the secret from her. I took a slow breath to calm myself and find the right words to tell her what was going on.
“Listen,” she said. “I want to know when you started sleeping with someone, because that’s really big for you babe. But I’m not going to pry for details until we learn what these tests say, okay?”
I nodded, unable to say more. Then the timer went off on my phone, buzzing to let me know that life as I knew it was about to change.
I opened the bathroom door slowly.
“Careful, sometimes they stampede,” she quipped.
“Thanks for being here with me,” I said, barely able to speak.
Kendall came to my side, grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. I shut my eyes for a second, steeling myself. Then I stepped into the bathroom, flipped on the light and faced three pregnancy tests lined up on the counter. Every single one of them positive.
Pregnant.
Undeniably pregnant. Just as I suspected. No one could get away with being that careless that many times and not even keeping up with her birth control pills. A baby. I was carrying a baby right now at this very minute.
I looked over at Kendall who grabbed me and hugged me. “You’re gonna be a mama!” she said with a fierce squeeze.
“Yeah,” I squeaked. She let me go just as my phone dinged.
“What, you got another three tests in another room, cheating on my tests?” she joked. I winced a little at the implication.
I shook my head, glanced at my phone. It was from Jeremy, a text saying that he really missed me. I couldn’t respond. Somehow it made me shake even harder. I silenced my phone and shoved it in my pocket. Then I shut my eyes and the tears started.
“Hey,” Kendall said, “you have five minutes to cry. Go ahead. Cry as much as you want. But when five minutes is up, you have to get your shit together.”
I gave a watery laugh and sniffed determinedly. I wasn’t going to weep for five minutes. Not another second. Especially not when I felt something like excitement welling in me.
“You don’t think I screwed up?” I said in a small voice.
“Not at all. I know you. You don’t make these types of decisions lightly. So even though I’m a little bummed you didn’t tell me you’d met someone, I think a mini-Julie is just what we need around here.”
I hugged her again and told her she was the best. Then we got out spoons to celebrate and I made myself try the mint chocolate chip ice cream. If I shut my eyes and didn’t look at the color it wasn’t too bad.
She was so kind and never brought up the potential father or asked me a bunch of questions. We just chatted about her latest club gig from the night before and a hilarious story about one of the waiters trying to slip his number to a guy and giving it to the wrong person.
“Yeah, so the hot gay waiter gave his number not to the sexy dude who had flirted with him but to a very conservative young member of the city council.”
“Wow. That must’ve been embarrassing,” I said.
“Well, it would’ve been, especially since the waitstaff isn’t supposed to fraternize with VIP guests at the product launch, but what was really shocking, was that the senator’s son dialed him up from the car and asked if he could get off work early and come to his hotel room!”
She told me another story or two, made sure I was cheered up and then left me to take a nap with the promise that I would spill all when I was settled in a bit more. I was pretty wiped out with all the anxiety and excitement and all the moral conflict about needing to tell Kendall the truth and how I’d approach the Beckett brothers about how baby was about to make five.
I made myself text Jeremy that I was just busy and then put my phone on the coffee table so I could curl up under a blanket. Sleep was starting to pull me under when I heard running footsteps and shouts coming from the hallway outside my door. I rolled over, figuring somebody was having a noisy argument in the hall or somebody’s teenager had mouthed off and was getting chased down the hall and berated by an angry parent as they left to go out. I tried to relax again and let my eyes drift shut. I was comfortable. I was safe and healthy I had a baby coming, my very own family. It was a wonderful surprise even if I was sort of terrified at the same time. Part of me couldn’t wait to tell the guys, and the other part was a bit embarrassed that I’d accidently gotten pregnant by one of them.
