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Chapter Twenty
HANNAH
Okay, this is officially too intense. I wake this morning, to find myself covered in the beast’s glowing, sticky—
I passed out last night from coming so hard. And then apparently just slept the rest of the night.
What. The. Fuck.
I have never been a vulgar girl. Or one who cares that much about sex.
This is not like me.
None of this is…
After an extensive bath, scrubbing myself clean and then scrubbing myself again. And then abruptly stopping because I started getting tingles as too-vivid memories of last night and all that happened before I passed out—
He’s not even here, and yet I’m still feeling—
I stop the running water. I haven’t stoppered the bathwater because I don’t trust the water not to be full of… well, whatever was left of his… glowing essence. His gush.
After this, I’ll have to try to wash the sheets and furs, though I’m not sure that’s even possible.
Because there was so much gush. I sit in the bath, wringing out my hair and trying not to think of the word he seems so fond of.
Dear Lord. What have I gotten myself into?
Certainly nothing that has to do with the Lord, that’s for sure. I remember the whisper of his dark wings wrapping around me. And the unforgettable noise of those same wings starting to flutter, flutter, flutter.
I get up and step out of the bath.
I still don’t know if he was telling the truth about not doing something to my body to make me— Because this is not—
None of this is—
Normal.
No. Definitely not normal.
Normal had left the building.
So what now?
I sit on the edge of the bathtub, water dripping from my body onto the stone. My whole body steams in the cold air, but I’m cold. At least not as cold as I ought to be. I remember non-stop shivering the first few times I got out of this bath.
Maybe I’m coming down with something, and I have some sort of fever. Maybe that explains… whatever the hell last night was.
Jesus, I let him put his— Up my—
My face flushes even hotter, and when I put my hands to my cheeks, they, too, are warm.
Am I seriously gonna just stay here waiting around for him to come back and fuck my brains out again?
I’ve never been a girl who sits around and waits for anything.
Growing up when Mom tried to tell me I couldn’t do things because of my disability, it just made me mad. And ten times more determined to prove her wrong and do them anyway.
While no, I was never gonna run a five-minute mile like the other kids… or even a twenty-five-minute mile, I have proved to her I can travel on my own. I can hold a job just fine. I can move around in the world like any able-bodied person, even if a little slower. I find ways around things.
I narrow my eyes.
Where does he disappear to when he’s not with me, anyway? Then I remember the blood on his chest last night. And finally I shiver, except it’s not from cold. What’s wrong with me that I have forgotten about all that blood enough to actually let him—
I shake my head.
He overwhelms me, even if not physically. Either I’m a kinky little deviant who has fantasies I just really never unearthed before… I put my hands to both cheeks.
Can a person really discover something like that about themselves at the age of twenty-five? Wouldn’t I have known?
Then I shake my head.
The far more likely answer is that he lied last night. He is doing something to me. I look over at the sink. Or maybe there’s something in the water.
Either way, I need to know more about him. I don’t have enough information in this scenario. I’m so blind.
Where does he even come from? Will he give me a straight answer me if I ask?
Ha. Fat chance. Look how fast he shut down my questions last night.
Plus, he’s obviously sensitive about whatever’s in that basement.
Dungeon, you mean.
Again, I shiver.
Then, mind made up to do something—anything—I hurry out of the bathroom. And by anything, I don’t mean cleaning up this pigsty of a bedroom. That’s obviously pointless.
And even though I don’t feel as cold today, I grab one of the smaller furs from the bottom of the bed, that still looks somewhat clean, and wrap it around myself.
A glance out the window tells me it seems just as blustery as always, and the snow is thick on the ground. I can’t see the glint in the distance around the lake I spotted the other day, but it’s not dark out, so I probably shouldn’t expect to. I try not to second guess what I saw the other day. I can’t lose hope.
After last night…
My chest clenches. After things getting so out of control…
