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A good guy.
I tightened my arms around him and he tightened his arms around me. This was heaven.
A good guy.
This time, the fish made a ripple, expanding outwards, disturbing the pristine surface. No. No! I’d found my happy place. I wasn’t going to give this up, not for—
A good guy.
Surfacing in my mind again before the ripples had faded. Waves formed, breaking together chaotically, getting higher and higher until they couldn’t be ignored…
I pushed back from him but his arms were tight around me. I pushed again and felt him look down at me, confused. I shook my head, and he released his arms, his chest filling as he drew in a worried breath. “What?” he asked.
I stepped back, staring up at him. I didn’t want to give it life by saying it, but I had to.
“You’re not a good guy,” I whispered.
He frowned. Shock, then hurt. “But—”
“You saved me,” I said. “You risked your life for me. You did all this, joined the team for me. But you’re not a good guy. You’re a thief. You always have been, you always will be. You’re a thief who does good things. And the gold, that’s your big score. If you give it up for me, you’ll wind up resenting me.”
“No!” He grabbed my hands. “No, never!”
“You spent three years in jail planning how you were going to spend that money.”
He shook his head slowly, gazing at me. “But I spent my whole life waiting to meet someone like you.”
“Four hundred million dollars. No one could give that up for another person: it’s too much to ask. A year from now, or ten years from now, you’ll wonder and it’ll grow until it cracks us apart.”
“No!” he was begging now. But he wasn’t just begging me. He was begging for it not to be true, because he knew it was.
“I can’t let you do it,” I said. “Not for me.”
It hurt too much to look at him. I turned away and walked out from under the overhang. As I walked over to the cliff edge, the rain sluiced down my face leaving me gasping.
I’d never been sure of much in my life but I was sure about this. I wanted to be with him, but I needed him to be happy. For his sake, I had to give him up.
I drew in a breath but my lungs jerked and it turned into a sob. I was letting go of all that beautiful, safe warmth and all that was left was bitter cold and an eternally gray sky. Going home alone was so much worse, now that I’d had those few glorious minutes of imagining the fairy tale.
Another sob rose, spasming my chest and prickling my eyes. Then another, and another. I heard him walk towards me but then his steps faltered and stopped. He’d realized that holding me would only make it worse. He was right, but that reality—that from this moment on, being together would only bring us more pain—was too much, it was sandpaper on my soul. This isn’t fair, I kept thinking, little-girlish and stupid. This isn’t fair!
I descended into wracking, ugly sobs. I cried until my chest ached, until I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t see. I stepped back from the cliff edge to be safe, and then gave a bitter little laugh. Even when I was crying my eyes out, I was pathetically sensible.
And that’s when I remembered something.
That’s when I remembered there was a third way.
I’d been too cautious before, too scared. But coming so close to death had made me realize that you can waste your whole life, being cautious. And coming so close to saying goodbye had made me realize that nothing was as scary as the thought of losing him.
I turned around, sobs still shaking my chest. “I can’t let you give up the…the money for me,” I began.
He stared at me, his eyes shining with tears.
I took a deep breath. “So I guess I’m just going to have to run away with you.”
35
OLIVIA
For a second, he just stared, his mouth open in shock. Then he cocked his head: did I hear that right?!
I nodded firmly. I could feel a ghost of cold panic creeping into my chest: we’d always be on the run, I’d never see the US again, this wasn’t me! But as I watched Gabriel’s face fill with pure elation, a warm rush chased the cold away. I’d face those fears…for him.
He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me to him, hugging me tight and then leaning down to kiss me fast and hard. I closed my eyes and molded myself to him, elation blossoming in my chest and expanding to fill every part of me. I stroked his stubbled cheeks, then tangled my fingers in his wet hair. Still kissing, he walked me back under the overhang so we were out of the rain.
