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Alone.
5
LORNA
In the hotel suite, my dad clutched me to his chest as if I was a kid again, and I didn’t protest at all. I’d gone suddenly shaky, my mind replaying that moment when they’d dragged me from the car over and over, and I buried my face in the soft cotton of his shirt. I had my arm tight around Cody and Cody had his arms wrapped around me and his grandpa, and we just stayed in that tight, McBride hug until we all started to breathe a little slower.
“You’re okay?” my dad asked when he finally let me go.
I nodded and gently touched the bandage on his temple. “You?”
“That’s nothing. I’ll have a little scar to impress the ladies.”
Despite everything, I cracked a smile and rolled my eyes. My mom died soon after I was born and, for the first ten years of my life, my dad hadn’t had anyone else. But when I was a teenager, he’d gradually started dating again, encouraged by me. Now, in his sixties with his classic good looks and Scottish accent, he’d become a silver fox and there were no end of women who wanted to bed him. He’d still never had anything serious, though. No one, he’d told me, could replace my mom.
“Lorna!” A British accent, polished and precise but ragged with sleep. I turned and saw my brother, Miles, stumbling from his room. His usual three-piece suit had been replaced with a t-shirt and sweatpants and his Monaco tan had vanished, his skin a sickly white-green. “You all okay?”
We nodded that we were. “You look terrible,” I told him.
He shook his head, then grimaced and went even paler. “I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “It’s just a bug.”
He’d come down with stomach flu that morning and had been holed up in bed all day: that’s why he hadn’t been with us in the SUVs. I gently squeezed his shoulder. “We’re okay. Go back to bed.”
Miles looked indignant: he’s as stubborn as the rest of us McBrides. Then he turned even paler. “Give me a minute,” he mumbled and ran for his room. We heard his bathroom door slam.
My dad watched him go, his face tight with concern. “Everything okay?” I asked, worried.
“Yeah.” My dad sighed, then hugged me and Cody close again. “Just want to be sure everyone’s alright.”
I was about to press him on it when Paige ran in, clutching so many shopping bags that they formed thick, papery wings. Her long, dyed blonde hair was stuck to her forehead with sweat as if she’d just run five blocks. “Oh my God!” she panted in her California, valley-girl drawl. “I’d stopped at a bar and they had the news on. What happened?! Are you okay?”
“We’re all okay,” I told her and pulled her into a hug.
I met Paige three months ago, while I was playing with Cody in Central Park. She’d just moved to the city after breaking up with her boyfriend in LA. We hit it off, went for coffee, and that’s when I found out she was a nanny.
At the time, I was working sixty-hour weeks trying to finish off plans for a new high-rise on top of being a single mom. I spent so much time running errands that I’d get behind at the office. I’d bring work home with me to try to catch up, then beat myself up for not spending time with Cody. I was barely sleeping, running on caffeine, and close to burning out. But in the eight years since Cody’s dad left, I’d never considered hiring a nanny. I felt like getting help would mean I’d failed as a mom.
But Paige was different. She bonded immediately with Cody and she got on with my dad and Miles, too. She was about my age and she felt more like a friend than a nanny. She had the sort of sleek, toned body men love, with sculpted arms from doing triathlons, and she was fashionable and cool. But unlike the cool kids back in school, she didn’t make me feel like a freak for being a math nerd or for not being slim and graceful. She was warm, and she built me up instead of putting me down.
So Paige moved in with us and, immediately, things were transformed. With her handling the school run and errands, I could get my work done at the office and be free in the evenings to spend time with Cody. I started actually getting some sleep and my health improved. Best of all, I’d found a friend. I’d been a shy, lonely geek in high school and I’d never really had a close female friend. I sometimes wondered why Paige had never had kids of her own, but she’d never raised the subject and I sensed I shouldn’t ask.
