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“Let’s get Xavier on the phone. Then the three of us can work it out.”
Grant studied me for a moment, then nodded. “Now will you follow me to my office?”
“Of course.”
15
FOX
I shoved open the door to my room, and it slammed against the wall. The reverberating noise was very satisfying. I had the urge to do it again and again, but I was already being treated like a child. I didn’t need to act like one.
“Wow, what did the door do to you?”
I turned to see Rhys studying me.
“I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone.”
“That’s too bad.” He walked right in and plopped down on one of the stuffed chairs in front of a window.
“I know you were responsible for the enemy backing down that day. I just don’t how you did it. Are you going to tell me?”
I shook my head. “I can’t… I…” Images started to crowd my mind, images I had blocked for so very long. “I can’t think about it. I can’t talk about it.”
“Sit down before you fall over,” Rhys ordered. “Your face is white as a sheet.”
I hadn’t realized how dizzy I’d gotten. I held onto the arm of the other chair and eased myself down.
“You’ve been holding this in this whole time, haven’t you? And you’ve never told anyone?”
I shook my head.
“You saved us all that day. That’s not a fuck up.”
“Command sure said it was.”
“Did they know?”
“I don’t think they ever knew the details because if they had, I would have been court-martialed faster than Grant. Stupid fucking rules.”
“Fox, what did you do to save us?” Rhys asked.
“Don’t push me. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is eliminating the threat.”
“So you’re telling me if we kill this man who’s after you, that’ll be it, that’ll be the end, because it sure as hell sounded like it was more complicated than that.”
“It’s personal with these men. One of them anyway.”
“Personal how, Fox?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my palms against them as if somehow I could squash out the horrible memories inside me. “Look, I’m not proud of the way I handled the situation, but I handled it. They were going to invade our camp, and I stopped them.”
“And you’re saying this is nothing but a personal vendetta? Their organization itself doesn’t have a target on your back?”
“If we kill this guy, it’ll be over.”
“Do you know that for sure?” Rhys laid a hand on my arm. “Look at me, Fox.”
The last time I’d felt as defeated, as broken, as incapable as I did at that moment was when I was sobbing over the body of a man I’d betrayed.
“It should be, but I don’t understand why he’s after me now. Why did he wait? No one can figure that out, not even X. He’s been monitoring the situation for me, and there’s been nothing until now.”
“We’ll figure it out, and we’ll eliminate the problem. That’s what we do. We’re a team.”
“I shouldn’t have involved you in this. This whole thing is my fault.”
Rhys scowled. “If we have to lock you in this room and drug you to keep you safe, that’s what we’ll do. We are here for you. Don’t you dare try to handle this alone. X knew that’s what you would do. That’s why he sent Darren, isn’t it?”
“Yes, dammit. I just… I fucking hate this.”
“I know. Tell me about Darren.”
I tensed. “What about him?”
“The dynamic between the two of you was… interesting.”
“Just because all of you have coupled up doesn’t mean you need to start seeing it everywhere.”
“Mmm. That’s interesting.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t suggest the two of you were together. I just said the dynamic was different.”
“You fucking trapped me,” I snarled.
“So you are sleeping with him? I guess that means he doesn’t need a separate room after all.”
“Yeah, he does. We… we can’t work together.”
“Do you mean on this mission, or do you mean…”
“Maybe both, but apparently, I’m fucking stuck with him for the mission.” And I knew no matter how much I wished otherwise, I wasn’t going to be able to get him out of my head after the mission either. I could pretend I was done with everything but a professional relationship, but I knew that wasn’t true. “I was supposed to be on vacation.”
Rhys just smiled. “I think you know that’s not how things go in this line of work.”
“I asked for several weeks off, then X, the damn bastard, told me he needed me to protect Darren.”
“So he tricked you. I wondered how he got you to accept Darren’s help.”
“He told me protecting Darren was a personal favor, and he needed me to do the job because I would do it best. I knew it was bullshit, but I went along with it. Then I saw one of the men from the desert, and Darren gave in and told me what was going on.”
