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“Can’t suck my own dick,” he says, his eyes on the rearview mirror as he backs away from the sidewalk.
My smile drops from my face, his words hurting more than a fist to the gut.
I know I mean nothing to him. I’m well aware that I’m simply a hole for him to fuck when he feels like it. It shouldn’t bother me, but at the same time, I’m also not exactly known for being capable of managing my emotions that well.
I feel more than see him turn his attention to me more than once, but I don’t acknowledge it. What could I possibly say? He doesn’t give a shit about me as a person, so my reaction to what he said won’t matter either. I feel stupid for even wanting him to see me differently.
I don’t react when he sighs heavily. I do my best to focus on the anger side of how he makes me feel because giving any other emotion room to breathe will only make me cry, and he doesn’t get to see me that way.
“What did Madelene tell you?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, keeping my eyes on the buildings passing by.
This town is very familiar to me. I’ve been living with Ayla and Nash for months, but for some reason it all seems so different in the passenger side of his truck, rather than driving the car Nash has let me use to go to work.
Work. Fuck, I missed my shift yesterday, and a quick glance at the clock tells me I’ve missed today’s too.
Waitressing jobs come a dime a dozen, and even as painful as it is to know Donavan is only using me because he needs to get off, I don’t speak up about it. I don’t demand to be taken back to Ayla’s so I can get a clean uniform and go to work. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want dirty men eyeing me from across the room or having to spend my day moving out of the way when they try to touch me.
I’m like a fucking puppy at his feet, begging for scraps and waiting for something of substance to fall to the floor so I can lap it up with an eagerness that should make me feel ashamed.
“Something,” he grumbles, turning on his blinker and pulling into a fast-food place.
“She said that the man you used to be was her brother.”
I glance over at him, but he’s emotionless. He doesn’t care about Madelene, and if the woman is a blood relative and doesn’t even tip a scale from him emotionally, then I have no fucking hope of doing it.
He turns his face, his eyes meeting mine, but he offers nothing up. He’s not going to explain, and I know asking questions would only be met with his refusal to answer them. There’s no point in wasting the energy.
“Burger and fries?” he asks me as he inches the truck closer to the drive-thru menu.
“That would be great,” I tell him with a weak smile.
He keeps his eyes locked on me for a long moment, only pulling them away when the car behind us honks in irritation. It takes several more breaths before he moves forward again.
He places the order for our food and after he pays, hands the bag to me before pulling out of the parking lot.
If I thought things turned icy in the truck, I was wrong.
Once we get back to the house, I sit down at the table to eat, placing his food on the table as well. He simply takes the burger and fries and heads out onto the back porch. It’s fucking freezing outside, but he’d rather eat out there than sit beside me.
He keeps his distance for the rest of the day.
Chapter 32
Donavan
She’s annoyed with me for some reason, and that annoys the fuck out of me when it shouldn’t bother me at all.
It’s honestly all too damn familiar, making me wonder if women get a fucking crash course in how to be passive aggressive in their anger.
Maya did this shit. She’d be close but not speak, forcing me to be the one to pull information out of her.
I hate that the silence is familiar, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the one to ask the questions.
I know where the conversation will lead, and I don’t have any fucking desire to go back six years to Chicago. I left all of that shit behind. I knew it was a mistake to take her there. I knew Madelene would be there. She’s been working for Lauren at the office for months. I knew before I joined Angel and the other guys that there was a chance my sister would stick her fucking nose where it didn’t belong.
I should leave. I should just cut ties with all of them and start over again. Florida sounds really fucking good right about now. At least the weather would be nicer.
