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“And just what kind of man am I, Jo?” Derek murmured, rubbing his hand up and down his cock, which swelled larger under Jonas’ gaze.
He felt as if that stare moved over him with invisible fingers, stroking his thighs, playing along the underside of his prick. Derek imagined the organ freed of his breeches and fully distended, gripped tight in Jonas’ large hand. A bead of moisture leaked from his cockhead.
Jonas’ chest swelled and he seemed unable to take his eyes from where Derek’s hand rested. “You know very well what kind of man you are,” he rasped in a thick, heavy voice.
Derek stroked his tongue along his lower lip. “Oh, I know myself better than anyone. The problem is not my lack of self-awareness, but your own.”
“Derek,” Jonas snapped, a warning in his tone. “Do not.”
With a great deal of effort and discipline, Derek snatched his hand away from his prick and stood. It pulsed and ached, but he ignored it. The needy organ would have no satisfaction today; that much was clear. Jonas’ surrender would not come easy. In the meantime, Derek would suffer for want of the only man he had ever loved. The most beautiful, stubborn, infuriating man he had ever known.
“Do not what?” Derek challenged.
Jonas squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Stop.”
“I will,” Derek replied. “If you keep your nose out of my affairs. You see, I have come to realize that I am unhappy with my life as it is, and something must change. I also realized that what I wanted was you, despite the fact that you seem determined to forget I ever existed. Though it has been difficult, I have come to understand that I cannot have what I want. Many menlike memake similar decisions all the time. In the absence of what we cannot have, we must forge some kind of life for ourselves. A man could do worse for a wife than Julia, and if you must know, we get along quite well. I will be good to her, and she will have as comfortable a life as she might with any other man. I see no reason it should be any of your business who I wed, if you will not admit—”
“Am I to believe that you will have my sister if you cannot have me?” Jonas exploded, his eyes blazing with fury.
“It is the choice men likeusare often forced to make,” Derek reminded Jonas. “Else we die alone and miserable. As much as you claim to despise me, I cannot imagine you would wish such a fate on me.”
Jonas approached the door as if to leave but paused on the threshold. His eyes bored into Derek’s, brimming with years’ worth of unspoken words and emotions.Tongossip said that Jonas Thacker lived like a monk, primarily cloistered away in the country where he never attended parties and rarely showed his face amongst polite society. No rumors of courtship or the typical larks of a bachelor were ever attached to Jonas, and no whispers of his proclivities were heard amongst the men of their circle. Derek could not fathom how Jonas lived the way he did, denying himself pleasure as well as happiness. How could he stand it?
“Your fate will be far worse than a lonely existence if you do not keep your distance from Julia,” Jonas growled. “You will end this farce immediately, or I will be forced to act.”
“You would have me toss her over and humiliate her? We have been seen together fairly often. The loss of a suitor would have a negative impact on her prospects.”
Jonas slammed his hand against the door frame and leaned in so close that Derek could see the varying shades of blue coloring his eyes like the sky meeting the sea. “The moment I hear word of a betrothal I will call you out. If we cannot settle this like gentlemen, then we will settle it on the dueling field. Good day.”
He stormed from the room without looking back. Derek leaned against the frame and watched him go, hypnotized by the flex and roll of his shoulders beneath his coat and the undulation of his thigh muscles with every step. God, Jonas was a beautiful man. Derek ached to have him so close, yet still so far away.
Once Jonas disappeared into the club proper, Giles approached. A teasing smile stretched across his pretty face as he inclined his head in the direction Jonas had taken.
“That was fast,” he quipped. “Far faster than usual for you.”
Derek snorted. “We only talked, such is my luck. It did not go well … not that I imagined it would.”
Giles studied him with a critical eye, one elegant hand braced at his chin. “Just who is that man, Derek? I have seen you come and go from this place with any number of men, and you have never brought one to a private room for the sake of a conversation.”
Derek sighed and ran a hand over his weary face. He was suddenly exhausted and worn thin. After years of waiting and wanting the moment of truth had finally come. Jonas was here and within his reach. All he had to do was convince the man to love him back.
“That, my friend, is the love of my life,” he said, patting Giles on the shoulder before following Jonas’ path out of the corridor echoing with the sounds of pleasure.
ChapterTwo
Why, Jonas, what a pleasant surprise,” chirped Julia when Jonas stepped into the family drawing room. “Mother told me you were in town, but I have not seen you since your arrival.”
The low lighting framed Jonas’ sister like a soft halo, illuminating her lovely chestnut hair and enlivening her alabaster skin. Julia wore an evening gown of pale yellow silk, and the matching choker about her throat made her look young and innocent. The very sight of her enraged Jonas, for he could not help but imagine Derek standing over her, dark and beautiful and defiant. The thought of them together stirred something ugly in his gut and made him want to commit murder.
Julia approached him, her lips parting in a smile. “Come, kiss me, brother. I have missed you terribly.”
Jonas grudgingly kissed her brow. He had missed her as well but did not have time for niceties. His parents had yet to arrive, so he must take advantage of their isolation. “What’s this I hear about you allowing Dryden to court you?”
She wrinkled her brow. “Never tell me you do not approve. I assumed you would be happy for us.”
Jonas scowled. “Why would you assume such a thing?”
Julia folded her hands decorously before her, unaffected by his ire. “Derek has been your best friend for many years. Now, he will be a part of our family. Is that not wonderful?”
