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Just freaking great!
Prodi waves a careless hand at us. “Get them out of my sight.”
Alek grips my hips and moves in behind me as we walk back to our room.
When the door is locked behind us, my body begins to tremble badly, and air bursts over my lips.
I just had sex with Alek in front of five men who, at any point, can decide they want to rape me.
Crippling shame shudders through me, and it feels as if the ground is ripped from beneath my feet.
Alek’s arms wrap around me, and as I sink down to the ground, he pulls me against his chest, his body folding over mine as I shatter into a million pieces.
I thought I broke when my parents died, but I was wrong.
Nothing kills like the shame I’m feeling right now. It strips me of my confidence and makes me feel like a cheap toy that can be used for others' entertainment.
As I weep, Alek just presses his face against the back of my neck. He doesn’t try to say anything.
What can he say?
He suffered too. It wasn’t just me.
Turning around on his lap, I wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life. Or what’s left of it.
For the first time since we were thrown into this room, the lights turn off, and we’re plunged into pitch-black darkness.
I can’t see anything, and I cling tighter to Alek.
It feels like hours pass before he whispers, “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
I shake my head. “We’re alive.”
More time creeps by, then he says, “Please tell me it wasn’t your first time.”
I suck in a lung full of Alek’s natural scent. “It wasn’t.”
I feel his muscles tense before he lifts me as he stands up. Slowly he moves us to the wall, where he sits down again. He positions me so I’m straddling him before wrapping his arms around me again.
I lie against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart while trying to find a sliver of the old me. It feels like there’s nothing left of the girl I used to be.
There are just shattered pieces of my soul and shame that burns hotter than the flames of hell.
“I’m sorry that happened,” I whisper. “Are you okay?”
He kisses the top of my head and keeps his mouth pressed to my hair. “I’m fine.”
The darkness settles heavily around us, and it feels like we’re wrapped in a bubble where it’s just us.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod even though it’s the furthest thing from the truth.
I’m not okay.
I’ll never be okay again.
Chapter 11
