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The thought of him being dead is too much, and I quickly shove it away.
He’s strong. He survived.
He probably thinks I’m dead.
My heart cracks down the middle when it sinks in that I won’t be able to contact him. Not if I want to live.
Tears begin to fall down my cheeks because I don’t know how to let go of Alek. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
I don’t know how he’s doing. He must be heartbroken from losing Vincent.
God, I wish I could hug him.
For an insane moment, I wish I was back in the dark room with him.
I cover my face with my hand and cry because I don’t know what else to do.
I can’t deal with everything that’s happened to me.
I can’t deal with being pregnant and alone.
I can’t deal with never seeing Alek again.
I wish I had died in the field.
Chapter 18
Alek
It’s been a month since my world came to an end.
This time I’m a prisoner in my bedroom because every time I lay eyes on my father, I lose my mind.
I begged Misha to go to the field. I at least wanted Everleigh to be buried so she wasn’t just lying out in the open.
Christ. My heart.
I grip the fabric over my chest, the pain too intense to breathe.
Misha didn’t find Everleigh in the field, which means someone already discovered her body. It’s not comforting at all. Strangers are handling the body of the only woman I’ll ever love. She didn’t even get a funeral.
I can’t. I can’t deal with this. It’s too much.
Standing in front of the window, I stare at nothing as my mind is tortured.
I have no will to live.
“Alek,” Misha whispers behind me.
“Hmm.”
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
He takes hold of my shoulder and turns me so I’ll look at him. “Anything…everything.”
Everything.
