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“Ourson,” he corrects me. He tilts his head, and lifting his hand, he cups my cheek. “Alexei talked some sense into my head on the drive here, and I understand you need time.”
This time is my turn to say, “But?”
“There’s no way I’m letting you go, Everleigh. Especially now that I know we have a child.”
My shoulders slump, and I close my eyes. “Don’t do this to me. Please.” I open my eyes again. “Your world tortured and almost killed me. I won’t survive it a second time.”
“There won’t be a second time.”
I take a step back, my voice rising as I say, “You don’t know that, Alek.”
His features grow harder, and there’s confidence in his tone. “The estate is the safest place for you and Vincent.” There’s a flash of grief when he says our son’s name. “I’ve completed my training, and I’ve worked my ass off to become one of the best. You will be safe with me. I can protect you.”
I shake my head. “I can’t take the chance.”
Anger creeps into his eyes, making the golden flecks shine. “What do you expect me to do?”
“I’m not saying you have to forget about us.” He already starts to shake his head. “Alek, you can visit Vincent once in a while. I won’t stand in the way of you building a relationship with him, but there can’t be anything romantic between us.”
He lifts a hand to his hair and grabs a fistful of the long-ish strands. “No.” He keeps shaking his head. “No.”
“Stop saying no and put yourself in my shoes,” I cry.
He gives me an incredulous look. “Am I the only one who remembers what we shared in that room? Why was it so fucking easy for you to forget me?”
“I didn’t forget!” I step closer to him and grab hold of his shirt. “I can never forget, Alek, but I had to move on for our son’s sake.” I suck in a shuddering breath. “In a perfect world, I would run into your arms and never let go. I’d get to have you and Vincent. But we both know this world is far from perfect, and Vincent will always come first. Before you and before me.”
Alek’s hands are trembling as he lifts them to my face. He brushes my hair back with his palms, his eyes flitting over me with desperation.
“I love you, Everleigh. Don’t tell me I can only see our son occasionally and that I have to keep my distance from you. There’s a lot I can endure and survive, but living without you isn’t an option.”
“You’re making this so hard for me,” I whimper.
Like we used to do in the dark room, he presses his forehead against mine. “I’ll give you time. I’ll try to be patient, but will you at least try to fight for us?”
I can tell any other man to go to hell, and I’ve always used my love for Alek as an excuse. But, standing in front of the man I love, it’s hard pushing him away.
“I can’t fight for us while you’re in the bratva.”
Anger flashes in his eyes again. “The only way out of the bratva is death. Losing you is death.”
“You’re not losing me. We just won’t be romantically involved.”
“That’s the same fucking thing, Everleigh,” he snaps.
I suck in a deep breath. “Let’s take a break from this conversation. I have to get dinner ready.” I give Alek a nudge. “Spend some time with Vincent.”
Reluctantly he nods, and I follow him to the living room where Alexei has made himself at home on the couch watching Shrek with my son.
God.
Chapter 31
Alek
The situation with Everleigh is driving me insane all over again.
Alexei gave me a talking-to on the way here and told me to ease up on Everleigh so I don’t scare her away, but that’s fucking hard to do.
