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As we approach the front door, some nerves appear in my stomach. I used to dread social events because of the surreptitious glances and whispers that would follow me. They still do, but it’s no longer gossip about my parents’ drama and the falling-down collection of buildings known as Matthews Farm.
I’m pretty sure I could count on one hand the number of people who thought Caleb and I would last when we started officially dating. Since then, most of the town seems to have accepted we’re not a couple on the cusp of breaking up.
The novelty of me dating Caleb Winters may have worn off somewhat, but interest in Caleb has far from waned. Since I’m now viewed as a reliable source of information when it comes to him—maybe themostreliable source of information—that means I’ve remained newsworthy by mere association.
Cassie and I step inside the house, and I’m shocked by the number of people here. The few gatherings I’ve attended this summer have all been around twenty people at the most. There are at least fifty in the living room alone, and this is supposed to be a backyard barbeque, meaning the bulk of the attendees are outside.
“Wow,” Cassie comments, glancing around as well. “Big turnout.”
“There must not have been anything else to do tonight,” I reply, and Cassie laughs. It’s a remark only someone who’s fully settled in small town life would appreciate. Because there’srarelyanything to do. Let alone multiple options.
Cassie follows me toward the back of the house. Because of his close friendship with Caleb, I’m quite familiar with the layout of Colt’s home, even when it is packed with people.
We enter the kitchen, and I’m relieved to see it’s not as crowded as the rest of the house.
Cassie makes a beeline for the island. I trail after her, glancing around to see who I recognize. Unfortunately, the person I make eye contact with would not have been my first choice of conversationalist.
I send Madison a small smile, anyway. “Hi, Madison. How are you?” I ask politely, halting a couple of feet away from her.
“I’m good, Lennon. You?” she responds, fiddling with a strand of her hair.
“All right, thanks.”
We’ve made progress from high school, but not much. I spent most of the four years believing she unceremoniously dumped me as a best friend in response to my father overdosing at the racetrack just before the start of our freshman year. I learned at senior prom it had more to do with Caleb Winters’s arrival in town. Apparently, Madison sensed his interest in me three and a half years before I had the slightest clue, and held a grudge for the same length of time.
“Lennon!” Cassie calls from the island, finally realizing I’m no longer right behind her.
Madison gives me a small smile. “See you.” She heads for the deck door that leads to the backyard before I can reply.
I amble over to Cassie, who hands me a can of beer.
Drinks in hand, we walk out into the backyard. The smell of roasting meat permeates the humid air. The sun is rapidly dropping behind the tall oaks that line the Adams’ backyard, with only the faintest glimmers of golden light visible between the broad trunks.
There are a few unfamiliar faces I’d guess belong to those here with their families to enjoy Landry’s main summer attraction: the racetrack. But the bulk of the people gathered around are familiar ones.
I doubt anyone could say I was social in high school with a straight face, but I grew up here. Most everyone in the backyard has played some small part in my life.
Cassie and I head toward Shannon, Eliza, and Tina first. I saw all three of them at Cassie’s house two nights ago, but they greet us like it’s been years, in the enthusiastic manner of people feeding off boisterous energy and enjoying the buzz of booze. Larger gatherings like this are rare in Landry.
“Caleb’s not here yet?” Tina asks me.
I figured the news he’d be here tonight was public knowledge based on the turnout. I wasn’t the only person who thought Caleb Winters would leave Landry and never look back. The fact that he hasn’t, that he spends every free minute not tied up by baseball commitments here, has largely been attributed to me. So was his choice to attend the university with a Division I baseball program closest to Landry.
I love him for proving me wrong about his commitment to us.
I hate that him doing so has increased interest and envy regarding our relationship.
How people are blown away by the fact Caleb Winters is voluntarily choosing to return here even though his grandfather is gone and his parents only stop by a couple of times a year. Despite not growing up here and only having roots of the tangential kind.
How his dedication has raised eyebrows about how I’ve never so much as made the three-hour trip to Clarkson University to visit him or watch him play.
I shrug in response to Tina’s question. “Not sure.”
I avoid talking about Caleb with other people, even among the group of girls I’m standing with, who I consider close friends. Being the recipient of envy is something I find both uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
Even though they’ve all accepted our relationship, no one I know seems capable of looking at Caleb without hearts in their eyes. He’s not the uncaring player I once pegged him as, but he’s not perfect. And as someone who is fully aware of her imperfections, it’s uncomfortable standing so close to someone under a constant spotlight of attention and adoration. It feels like flying too close to the sun.
Cassie sets off on a tangent about her woes with Kyle, the frat guy she’s been dating on and off since junior year.
