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“I figured, since you’re not wearing jeans.”
I punch his arm for that comment. “You try riding a horse or cleaning the barn in a dress.”
We fix burgers from the array of toppings that have been spread out. Caleb takes a seat in one of the lawn chairs on the patio. There are plenty of seats available, but he pulls me onto his lap. I let him, happy to pretend like we’re the only two people here.
Most of the people here are ones I see more frequently than I’d like to.
Caleb Winters is one of two people in this world I feel like I’ll never be able to spend enough time with.
He chats with some guys from his high school baseball team while I eat, describing new plays and drills from the camp he was at that I couldn’t care less about.
I’ve absorbed some knowledge of the sport through osmosis, both from Gramps blasting game commentary from the living room and Caleb talking about it, but any affection I have for the sport is purely based upon Caleb’s love of the game. I also harbor some appreciation for the uniform he wears while playing it. I’m not sure who decided the pants had to bequitethat tight, but I’m certainly not complaining.
We must radiate the same nauseating air that a couple who makes out in a movie theater does, because after Caleb catches up with his old teammates, almost everyone leaves us alone.
I finish my burger and hand Caleb my drink before leaning against his shoulder.
“Bad?” he asks.
“If you like warm beer, probably not.”
I watch the tendons of his throat contract as he takes a sip. “Not great.” He grins.
“Make sure to tell Colt.”
Caleb sets the can on the ground and then leans back in the chair, pulling me against his body. His fingers trail up and down the bare skin of my thigh, and I shift in his lap.
“Caleb…” I warn. He smirks but doesn’t stop the motion.
Heat simmers in my veins.
“Did you hear back yet?” Caleb asks abruptly.
I don’t need to ask for clarification on what he’s wondering about.
“No,” I lie, glad he can’t see my face right now.
I need to tell him. I know I need to tell him. But I haven’t decided how to. Haven’t decided what I’m going to say when I do. I’m running out of time on both.
“They hardly ever admit new students just for senior year,” I add, even as I know it’s unnecessary.
I may be withholding the truth from him right now, but I know I’m not going to lie and tell Caleb I didn’t get in. When I decide not to go, I need to be completely honest with him about why. Not take the easy way out. If such a thing exists in this situation.
“I know,” Caleb replies. After a pause, he adds, “Thank you, Lennon.”
His words burn with an earnestness that makes it clear he’s not belatedly thanking me for the lukewarm can of beer. But I act as though it’s nothing more than a casual statement of appreciation. Because acknowledging the fact Caleb knows the sacrifice even applying was for me makes this a thousand times harder.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
We sit in silence until Jake and Luke approach. “Ready, lovebirds?” Jake teases. “Colt’s packing up the car.”
“I left my bag in Cassie’s trunk,” I say, breaking out of Caleb’s grip and standing. “Let me go grab it.”
I catch Jake’s nod before I walk away. He and Luke stay by Caleb’s side as I head over to where Cassie is standing with Ellie Nash and a few other girls from our graduating class.
“Look who finally remembered Caleb’s not the only person here,” Cassie teases.
There’s no malice in her voice, but there is a hint of jealousy. Coming from her, I know it’s based on how unlucky in love she’s been. But it’s reflected tenfold in the gazes of the other girls near us, and it makes my insides twist unpleasantly. This is one aspect of being with Caleb I know I’ll never grow accustomed to. The never-ending interest. It’s not like I don’t see his appeal, so maybe it’s hypocritical of me. Doesn’t make being blasted with blatant envy any more enjoyable.
