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At some point during the three days between when he found out I’d been accepted and before he passed away, Gramps took the time to order this. He meant what he told me from the porch. He wasn’t pushing me to transfer to Clarkson out of obligation, it’s something he really wanted for me.
I wonder if Gramps would have given this to me before I decided. He always made his opinions clear, but never pressured me into any decision. If I’d returned from the lake to him in one of the rocking chairs on the front porch, he would have brought Clarkson up again. Pushed me to tell Caleb.
I glance between the shingled barn and the gray sweatshirt I’m holding. And then, I finally make the decision that’s been hanging over me ever since the white envelope with the Clarkson University emblem appeared in the mailbox almost a month ago. Back when the mailbox was still standing.
* * *
Caleb answers on the second ring. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I reply.
“Is everything okay?”
“You can stop asking me that every time I call,” I tell him wryly. “I could just be calling because I want to talk to you, not because something is wrong.”
Caleb laughs. “Fair enough. Is that why you’re calling?”
“No. I called to ask why you’re not at home.”
“How do you know I’m not at home?”
“Because your truck isn’t in the driveway.”
A rapid inhale echoes across the line. “You’re here?”
“I’m here.”
“The spare key is under the front mat, if you want to go outside.” Muffled voices come through on his end.Now anyone could steal…What, your jockstrap?There’s laughter, then Caleb’s voice cuts through. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
I don’t go inside. The summer heat isn’t terrible today, so sitting outside actually feels pleasant. I take a seat on the tailgate of the truck, tipping my head back to feel the sun warm my face.
Less than ten minutes later, I hear a car door slam. Caleb walks toward me, wearing a backward baseball cap and an adorably confused expression.
I don’t tease him with my decision. It’s been drawn out enough. “I enrolled this morning.”
Caleb stares at me, his face frozen with shock. He really didn’t think I would transfer. Nothing in his expression suggests this as an expected outcome. “You did?”
I nod. “And then I called a real estate office. The farm is going on the market first thing tomorrow. The realtor thinks it’ll sell fast.”
I know it will sell fast. Land in Landry is hard to come by. There’s high demand and low supply. And large properties close to downtown areimpossibleto come by. Those stay in families for generations. There will probably be a bidding war, despite the sad state of the buildings.
Caleb’s expression is carefully blank. He’s trying to gauge how I feel about this. How he should feel about this.
“What are you going to do about the horses?”
“They have extra space at the track now that the Cup has been run. I can board them there for the time being…then I’ll probably sell them. I’ll have plenty of money once the farm sells. But they deserve to live somewhere they’re ridden regularly. With a big pasture and lots of attention.”
Caleb shakes his head. “You love those horses, Lennon. And that farm.”
“Yeah. I do.” I inhale deeply. “But I love you more.” Caleb starts to say something, but I keep talking. “Gramps tried to convince me to sell the farm for years. He wanted me to do this. To leave Landry and go to a competitive college. I had to decide, and now I have. I need to come here without a safety net. To be scared of falling. To push myself out of my comfort zone.”
“Why does it have to be one or the other?” he asks. “Don’t you want to live in Landry after graduation?”
“I don’t know. But I knowyoudon’t.”
Caleb curses and looks away. “Don’t put this on me, Lennon.”
“I’m not,” I insist. “But you said you’re serious about us. I’m serious, too. I came to celebrate, not fight.”
