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“Good! I mean, ‘there’s a reason that every resident of Landry, Kentucky knows the name—’”
“I know what it says, Cassie.”
She laughs. “Right. Yeah. I guess you would.”
It turns out maybe Andrew wasn’t insanely optimistic about the number of copies. All day, I keep passing peers clutching copies of the paper.
Caleb shows up at dusk, right as I’m finishing in the barn. I walk out as he’s climbing out of his truck, running a hand through my hair to catch any stray hay.
“I’m mad at you,” I tell him.
He shuts the door and walks to the front of the truck, leaning against the hood and crossing his arms. “That’s a nice change.”
I roll my eyes. I haven’t been mad—genuinely mad—at him in weeks, and he knows it. With a grin, he shoves away from the truck and walks toward me, eating up the distance between us in a few quick strides.
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Because the article was your idea! You talked Andrew into it, and if I hadn’t gone along then I wouldn’t be able to…” My voice trails as I remember I haven’t mentioned my fall plans to Caleb. “Do you have any idea how long I spent writing that? And thennothingfrom you.”
“I loved it, Lennon.” All of a sudden, Caleb’s voice is very serious.
“You-you did?”
“Yeah. Wanna know what my favorite thing about the article was?”
He’s closer now, near enough I can see his eyes beneath the brim of his ballcap. He smells like grass and sweat, and I realize he came here straight from his game.
“What?” I whisper.
“You wrote it.”
“I’m going on the senior trip.” I blurt the words as a distraction. For me, from Caleb. Because I need the reminder that high school is close to ending. Thatweare close to ending.
“Really? I thought you said…”
“Gramps is basically shoving me on the bus. He really wants me to go. Be normal, you know?”
“Maybe he’s trying to get used to the idea of you being gone next year.”
This is the closest we’ve come to discussing college. And this is when I should tell Caleb the truth: that I won’t be leaving Landry this fall.
That those big, exciting things I wrote are waiting for him aren’t ones I’ll share in. That this uncertain, fragile feeling between us has a set expiration date. Something I once imagined him mocking me for somehow became something it seems like he should know.
But I don’twantto tell him. He’s become an escape, a way I can ignore all the messy parts of my life and feel like a normal seventeen-year-old with a crush on a cute boy.
Once I tell him, I know things will be different. Everything between us will change. And I’m not ready for it to.
We’re surrounded by a bubble that’s bound to pop. I can’t forget that. Being left behind is bad enough without a broken heart.
So I fist the polyester material of his jersey and pull him toward me in a kiss instead of saying anything.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
LENNON
Departure day for the senior trip dawns warm and sunny. Despite my initial reluctance to attend, I feel the first glimmers of excitement as I head toward the gym to drop off my duffle bag. Anticipation swirls around the hallways so thickly it feels like a tangible presence.
Mr. Tanner is the one who checks me in and hands me a paper tag to attach to my bag. He must be chaperoning, which I’m a little surprised by. I’ve never gotten the impression he got into teaching because he loves spending time with young adults.
