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At first, I think he’s not going to stop. But he finally slows, then turns around. “What?”
“Where are you going?”
He raises his eyebrows, then glances deliberately down at his soaked clothes. “To change.”
“We were in the middle of a conversation!”
“The conversation is over, Lennon. And so are we. Although, according to you, we never even started. So we’re just back to being nothing, I guess.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say. I made a lot of assumptions about me and Caleb, and I guess the saying about that is true. I do feel like an ass.
“We’re fine, Lennon,” he says. “Don’t worry about it.”
But Caleb doesn’tlookfine. He looks disappointed and upset. And it twists something inside my chest, knowing it’s because of me. I was so focused on protecting myself—on managing expectations and not getting attached and not losing sight of reality—that it never occurred to me I might have the power to hurt him.
“Where are you playing next year?”
I don’t follow baseball, and I’ve spent years trying to tune out any mention of Caleb. But I know he’s a big deal. Know he should have announced his college choice a while ago and that he hasn’t is a source of speculation.
If he’s surprised by the random question, he doesn’t show it. “I haven’t committed anywhere yet.”
“You-you haven’t? Weren’t you supposed to, a while ago.”
“Yeah, I was.”
“Why haven’t you then? You want to play in college, right?”
“Yeah. I wanna play.”
“You got offers…right?”
He exhales, one corner of his mouth turning up reluctantly. “If you’d ever come to a game, you wouldn’t have to ask me that.”
My fingers twine anxiously as I chew on the inside of my cheek. It never occurred to me to go to one of Caleb’s games. I figured he wanted to relegate any association with me to the periphery of his life. But Caleb has never acted ashamed of me. Those insecurities are all me.
“Hey, Winters!” I don’t turn toward the voice behind me, but Ryan edges into my sight anyway. He glances at me, surprise all over his face. “Hey, Lennon. Didn’t realize that was you.”
“Hi, Ryan.” My voice is wooden as he glances between me and Caleb with a questioning look. Everyone always seems surprised to see us together. It’s hard not to assume it’s because of me.
“There you are, man.” Jake’s voice joins the conversation.
I shift uncomfortably. If Jake and Ryan are up, that probably means other guys are too.
“Why the fuck are you all wet?” Jake asks Caleb, then glances at me.
Caleb ignores the question, turning and continuing toward the row of cabins. Jake looks between me and Ryan, shakes his head, and then follows after Caleb.
“See you later, Ryan.”
I spin and head in the direction of my cabin.
“Lennon! Wait.”
I sigh before stopping. “Ryan, this really isn’t a great time.” I gesture toward my sopping appearance.
“What, you forget a suit?”
“Not exactly.”
