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I realize while he’s driving probably wasn’t the best time to tell himafterhe drifts over the lane divider, setting off a series of honks. He quickly swerves back, correcting the car’s path.
“I’m not sure if I’m going to go,” I add, once I’m confident he has driving under control again.
“Why wouldn’t you go?” he asks, which is not the first question I would have guessed he’d ask.
“I’m not sure it’s what I want. If I applied because it was the right decision or because I was wanting something different.”
“What school?”
“Los Angeles School of Design.”
“Long way from New York.”
I look away from him, out the window. “It is,” I agree.
And I know it’s a part of my indecision. Committing to school here is different from continuing my job here. Some hopeful part of me wants to leave possibilities open.
“I’ve loved having you at the agency, Hannah. You know that. But starting that company was my dream. I want you to follow yours, wherever that might lead. The offices could use a facelift, so it would be handy to have an architect in the family.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I whisper.
He turns on the stereo, stopping on an old Beach Boys song. It serves as our soundtrack to the hospital, where my mom and Rachel are waiting in the lobby. They both give me hugs before we head to April’s room. Since I’m the only one who hasn’t visited, I go in first.
April is sleepy and smiling when I enter the tiny hospital room. Eddie is standing beside the bed, beaming down at her and the little bundle in her arms.
Stranger than the realization I’m an aunt is the recognition my brother is a father. That his life changed irrevocably today.
When Eddie asks if I want to hold my nephew, I don’t hesitate to say yes. He’s wrapped in a striped blanket, even smaller than I’m expecting. I stare down at his miniature features, his eyes closed and expression peaceful. Sleeping like a baby.
“He’s beautiful, you guys.”
“Thanks, Hannah,” April says. “I brought the duckling onesie in my hospital bag to take him home in.”
I smile. “I got a more original gift too. I’ll drop it off tomorrow.”
April replies with “You didn’t need to get us a second gift!” at the same time Eddie tells me “Thanks.” They glance at each other, then laugh.
“I’m sure Ezra will love it,” she says.
“I hope so.”
Unfortunately, thinking about the lamb rocker only reminds me who suggested I buy it.
I pass Ezra back to Eddie after a few minutes, noticing how exhausted April looks. I hug them both goodbye, then head out into the hallway.
My parents both duck into the room to say goodbye as well, while Rachel grabs a snack from the vending machine. I stare at the infographic about the common cold while I wait for everyone else to be ready to depart.
Everyone is cheerful and excited once we’re in the car. Everyone except me, but I try to fake it. My mom is gushing about Ezra. My dad gets a call about a new contract offer. Rachel chatters about her summer trip. She’s settled on Greece.
“Will you come over for dinner tomorrow night, Hannah?” my mom asks as we turn onto my street. “I want to hear all about your New York trip.”
Dread trickles through me, but I know I’ll have to have this conversation eventually. Might as well get it over with. “Sure, Mom.”
My dad pulls over in front of my bungalow, then climbs out to grab my suitcase from the back. I check to make sure nothing fell out of my bag into the footwell, then unclick my seatbelt.
“Oliver came back with you?”
I glance over at Rachel. “What?”
