Page 47 of Tanner's Forever


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Apparently, the smile is back because my dad says, “Alright, who’s the guy?”

“Huh?” I look up at him.

“Every time you smile like that, I know you’re talking to a guy.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “I’m watching cute puppy videos. Puppies make me smile like this.”

“Erin Mae, I have known you thirty-three years now. I know the difference between your cute puppy face and cute boy face. Are you seeing someone?”

Looking down at my hands, I pick at my non-existent fingernails. “Would that be bad if I was?”

He sits down at the table across from me, running his hand over his scruffy beard. “Not at all. I think it would be great for you to start dating again.”

“Really?” I ask, my shock apparent. “Why?”

“Because being a parent shouldn’t consume your life. I watch you break your back every single day for those kids, and I love that you’re such a great momma. But a long time ago, I watched a man come along, and over the years, I saw him slowly take bits and pieces from you. And while I am under no delusions that youneeda man, I think it’s nice to see you smiling again.”

“You never dated,” I tell him.

“Oh, darlin’, please tell me that you are not using me as the model for your love life,” he says with a chuckle.

“Why not? You always made sure we were taken care of.”

“You’re right. But I was so bitter over the shit that your momma pulled that I completely closed the door on any type of relationship for a long time. It wasn’t exactly healthy because I carried that resentment around for a long time. Made for a lot of wasted time.”

I’m not sure I want to know the answer to my next question, but I ask it anyway. “Have you dated at all?”

He looks almost as uncomfortable answering the question as I was asking it. “I’ve dated a little the past few years. Nothing too serious. But I’ve had some lady friends.”

I don’t know what exactly that means. And I don’t want to.

Letting out a deep sigh, I say, “I’m not sure how to do all this.”

“It’s kind of like riding a bike.”

Both of us realize the awkward inuendo of that statement and both make a face before starting to laugh.

I say, “The whole thing is pretty new. The kids don’t know anything about it, and I think I’d like to keep it that way for a while.”

“Fair enough.” He nods. “What seems to be the problem?”

“The guy seems dang near perfect. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Erin, no man is perfect. We all are a handful in our own right, but if one of them treats you right and tries his hardest to make you happy, I think that’s worth something.”

There’s a sadness in his eyes. He tried so hard to make my momma happy before she ran off. Truth is that I don’t think she would’ve ever been happy here in Maple Oaks. Despite my dad treating her like a queen, she yearned for the bright lights of the big city. Not even her two kids were enough to keep her around.

Putting my hand on top of his, I say, “You know, Momma leaving wasn’t your fault. We never blamed you for that.”

“I know, kiddo. It took me a long time to realize that she had a lot of issues that no one would be able to fix aside from herself. If I would have figured that out sooner, I may have been more open to the idea of dating—not that I had a lot of time back then.”

“That’s sort of the problem I’m running into. My schedule is so filled with kid stuff all the time that I am not quite sure how to fit someone else into it.”

“Oh, you have every other weekend off, and you know I’m here to be a babysitter whenever you need me. You want to go out on a date when you have the boys, just call me.”

“I feel bad doing that,” I confess. “It seems like I am out having fun while someone else takes care of my responsibilities.”

“First of all, I love any time I get to spend with those kids. The more, the better. And I know what it’s like raising your kids without any type of support system. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you go through that same thing. It takes a village, and I’ll be more than happy to be your village any day of the week—even if it’s just because you need a night off.”

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