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“It’s not like that. I’m using this as an opportunity to raise awareness about the foundation I support. With the economy still in ruins and only beginning to rebuild, people forget about the smaller, less fortunate non-profits that lost funding. Everyone is focused on rebuilding big businesses and don’t realize that most of our youth programs are still suffering. If Joey and I win, I’m giving my share to the foundation. Help them kick start their rebuilding efforts.” They don’t need to know that my mouth wrote a check that I can’t cash and that I was drunk when I signed a contract to appear.
“Oh, you’re so noble.” A hand is placed on my forearm and it doesn’t take a genius to see that it’s attached to Amanda. She bats her eyelashes at me when we make eye contact, and I quickly look away. I also place my arm around Joey for good measure. Joey doesn’t immediately relax into me, but we’ll get there.
“So, Cole, what do you do for work?”
He moves to sit down, but Millie doesn’t follow. She stands in front of us, making things a little too awkward for me. In this house, I want to be treated like any other newlywed, not the actor they’ve seen in the movies. That’s not me.Thisis me, the real me. I’m not playing some part right now.
I add a little pressure to Joey’s shoulder and motion for her to sit down across from Cole. As soon as we sit, Millie does as well, followed by Gary and Amanda. Looking at those two couples, it’s easy to see that having Joey as a fan is working in my favor because she’s sitting next to me while the other wives are at least a foot away. I definitely hope my fans are seeing this.
“Cole, as you were saying?” Even though he wasn’t, since he never answered my question to begin with.
“I work in finance.”
“Crunching numbers or are you the tax guy?”
He takes a long sip from his bottle of beer and smacks his lips when he’s done. “Nah, more like corporate finance. I work long hours and that prevents me from dating. My friend suggested the show after my last girlfriend dumped me via social media. I didn’t even see the message for two days, that’s how busy I was.”
I immediately look over to Millie, and she glances away. We’re each taking risks by being here, marrying people that we may not consider adequate partners for ourselves, but it’s a show and we have three months to learn about them and ourselves, and maybe make some lifestyle changes. Although, I’m not looking to quit acting, so I’m not sure what I can actually change.
“Gary, what do you do?” I ask him next.
“I work with computers mostly, web servers and mainframes. That sort of thing.”
A hundred bucks says he runs a porn site.
“That must be challenging.” I don’t know jack shit about computers.
He shrugs. “It can be.”
I nod and move onto Amanda, who tells us she’s a kindergarten teacher and has been teaching for two years. I don’t know if I’d want my children to be taught by her. Millie is a police officer. I was right about her; she is a bad ass. I have vision of her shooting the guys if they get out of line.
“And what do you do?” Amanda asks Joey.
Joey clears her throat and barely looks at me before focusing elsewhere. “I graduated a few months ago and haven’t found a job yet.” For the first time since I’ve met her, her voice is weak and lacking confidence.
“Convenient that you’re married to a movie star, isn’t it?”
I don’t care if I’m a guy and we’re from Mars; I know catty bitchiness when I hear it. Amanda’s jealous, and her comment has just rendered the room speechless.
six
joey
We will not beinstant friends in this house. I don’t know how Joshua feels, but the glares, off-handed comments, and overall feeling that they’re jealous is not sitting well with me. We have to co-exist, but being friends might be a little far-fetched for me.
I get why they’re jealous. I would be too. Joshua Wilson is every woman’s dream. He’s gorgeous, charismatic, his body is perfection, and the way he smiles—how his lips curve just a little off to the side—makes me weak in the knees. And I’m married to him, at least for the time being. I know I have choices while I’m in this house: I can shut off my heart, put up a wall and exist, or I can enjoy the moment, be his wife and take as many stolen kisses as possible, so that when I’m out of here and back in reality, I have the memories even if I don’t have him.
The six of us shared four bottles of wine and watched a movie, two of us on each couch. I sat somewhat close to Josh while the other wives had at least a cushion’s space between them. One has to think that you’re a bit of a risk-taker to come on this show. I think, except for my situation, sex is expected, but by looking at the other two wives, they seem uninterested. If Josh hadn’t already set the boundaries, I’d probably try to cop a feel every chance I could. The other men aren’t ugly by any means.
Gary is a little different. He’s blond, not well built, and his hair is a bit too styled for my liking. His eyes are a darker brown than Joshua’s, almost lifeless. He stares, and that’s a bit creepy, but he’s decent looking, same thing with Cole.
Cole looks like your average high school athlete who never gave up on his dream to go pro. As he sits next to his wife, his biceps flex as if he’s trying to prove something. His hair is dark and his eyes are blue. He has a nice smile. Of these guys, I’d probably date Cole, or at least talk to him in a bar. With Joshua here, though, they don’t stand a chance with their wives. And I don’t stand a chance with my husband.
Earlier this afternoon, I stood in front of a mirror and looked at my hair that was styled just right, the dress I wore was beautiful and may not have been the one I had picked out, but I wasn’t going to complain. Now I stand, facing yet another mirror and stare at myself. The make-up has been taken off my face, making my eyes look dull and almost lifeless. If it weren’t for the deep purple negligee against my pale skin, I’d look like a washed-out vampire.
My hair is pulled up in a lame ponytail with the ends falling down in the back. I used to have long hair, down to the middle of my back, but in an effort to change myself after my engagement ended, I cut it. I regret that decision. I pinch my cheeks to give them some life. They flash pink, but quickly fade. It doesn’t matter which way I turn my head, the disdain I see in my reflection is how I feel about my mother right now.
When I opened my duffle bag to pull out my favorite pajamas, they weren’t there. As I threw clothes haphazardly over my shoulder in the bathroom, I had the sickening realization that my mother had removed the security clothes I had packed and replaced them with satin negligees and matching panties. It felt like I just swallowed one of my Aunt June’s potpies, and now it’s pressing on all my organs. I’m so angry that I want to cry, and yet I’m standing here wondering what Joshua Freaking Wilson is going to think when I walk into the bedroom we’re sharing.
