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He shakes his head and sits back down on the couch as if he’s welcome. He’s not. I want him to leave after he tells me where to find my wife.
“Because I was with her the night before I met Rebekah, which happens to be about a month before you went on the show. I made the mistake of bringing Jules back to my apartment. We had been drinking and shit started getting heavy. She’s a sure fucking thing, so I fucked her.”
“You son of a bitch! This whole time I’m sweating bullets, trying to reassure my wife that I’m devoted to her and you’re the fucking father?”
“No, I’m not. When I was with her she had an implant in her arm. I’m not a fucking doctor, but unless she took it out and you have miracle sperm I doubt she can be pregnant by you.”
It’s the same shit he’s been spewing to Joey for months, but I haven’t listened because I wanted to trust Jules. We had been together, but I can’t recall when the last time was. I know we had been and I hadn’t been using a condom. That thought alone makes my stomach roll.
“I don’t have a clue who she was with while I was in the house.”
“It wasn’t me. I know you have a hard time believing that Rebekah and I are married, but it’s true. The Rebekah I met isn’t the one you and Joey know. She had purple hair and wanted to party. The best part about her, she didn’t have a fucking clue who I was and that made everything more enticing with her. The one-night stand turned into a weekend and three weeks later she’s telling me that she’s pregnant. She hadn’t left my side so I knew it was mine. We went down to the justice of the peace and got married.”
“Rebekah’s pregnant?”
He shakes his head. “About two weeks before Barry called us, she miscarried and said it was a sign that her wild ways were over. Dyed her hair back to her natural color and started making me go to church.”
“Holy shit, but I’m confused. I thought you told Joey that you met Rebekah at church?”
“I did because I wasn’t about to out our secret on national television. No one knows about the miscarriage and I want to keep it that way. Rebekah knows I’m a sinner. Hell, she was, too, but has been repenting ever since. She thinks it’s her fault she lost the baby even when I tell her that these things happen and we can try again. When it comes down to it, she loves me and I love her, even if we started off backwards. It killed me when she lost the baby, though, and that’s when I woke up. I realized that what we were building was worth something and I didn’t want to lose it.”
I process everything he’s telling me, and as much as I don’t want it to, it does change the way I see him and Rebekah. The last thing I want to be is a friend to Bronx, but I think I’m outvoted by my conscience on this one.
“You know Jules and I had broken up before I met Barry in the bar. I told her I was done with her, but she still came around. I was so stupid to think she was pining away for me. Every time we’d hook-up, she’d insinuate that we were together and I’d blow her off. Jules never took no for an answer.”
“This could easily be a way to get revenge on you.”
“I blew her off for Joey on the day of the finale,” I tell him. He knows how I feel about that day, the one that he ruined. That should’ve been our first night together without cameras following our every move. Instead, I was holed up in a hotel room trying to do everything I could to find her.
I look at the mess on the table and wonder how I could be so fucking stupid to believe her. And I let her into our home, under the assumption that we were going to be parents, and this is how she repays me? By destroying Joey’s wedding dress?
“I’m so fucked.”
“Pretty much. Joey is devastated. I don’t think she cared too much about the dress, but the pictures and knowing that Jules was in her house when she wasn’t home—that killed her.”
“Unless she broke in, she’s never been here unless Joey and I were home. I wouldn’t let her in if Joey weren’t here. I don’t know where these pictures are coming from.” I glance at them and decide to turn them over. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want the reminder that my wife walked out on me because of them.
“Do you know where she is?” I ask again, hoping that he’ll tell me this time.
He shakes his head. “I don’t. I arrived, consoled her, and she left. I decided to stay so you wouldn’t worry about her.”
“Yet I am.”
“I know, but at least you know why she’s not here.” He points to the mess on the table. “I gotta run, Rebekah’s waiting for me at home.” Bronx stands and takes a few steps toward the door.
“I still don’t like you, but thank you.”
“As long as you tolerate me for your wife, I don’t care. Joey means a lot to me and I don’t want to see her hurting.”
“She means everything to me,” I mutter as the front door closes. I lean back and scream until my throat feels raw. Tears fall down the side of my face as I stare at the ceiling. What a fucking mess my life is when it should all be so easy. Joey and I should be figuring out what to eat, instead my house is empty and my wife isn’t home.
Making my way to the bedroom, I head for her closet. Most of her hangers are empty.
“She left me.”
My hand flies through the empty hangers as I swing my arm out at the mass. Some fall to the floor, but others bounce back and snap into my skin leaving a welt. “Fuck,” I scream, pounding my fist into the wall.
I reach for my phone and bring it to life. Both my screensaver and background picture are of her and I keep one screen clear of any icons so I can stare at this picture in particular. I took it the morning after we bought the house. She was just waking up and looked so beautiful. I had to capture the moment.
