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“Do you think she’s erasing bad memories?”
“I think she’s got nothing to do and is spending money.” He quips.
“It seems to me she’s stuck in a house she hates as much as you do and she’s trying to make the best of it.”
“She can sell it.”
“Not with a dated living room in this neck of the woods, she couldn’t. Your mom has nothing but you—and that’swhenyou let her into your life. You said she redesigned the entire beach house. Perhaps this is a project she needs to hold on to, or maybe to let go.”
Cary tugs me by the neck, putting his firm lips against my forehead. “I don’t know why I pay so much for therapy when I have you.”
“Don’t stop going on my account.” I laugh.
It’s okay to need help. Everyone does now and again. I journal my thoughts to make sense of them. Going back to read what I’ve written during the toughest times, I wonder why I’m so hard on myself or how I could have taken small events so personally when I’ve lived through larger ordeals. But hearts hurt easily, and this family endured an unusual type of pain. One I couldn’t have begun to fathom had I not fallen in love with this man. It’s insane expecting them to be over it in a matter of months, and I grant Davina grace because it’s what Cary needs from me. I hope someday if I’m having a rough go, he can do that for me.
“Can I tell you a secret?” My voice is muffled by the soft cotton of Cary’s shirt while I continue to hug him. “I’m older than dirt, and I’ve never been brought home by anyone before. Even having met your mom, I’m anxious and excited. I want to see where you grew up, have your mother show me embarrassing baby pictures, and maybe sneak up to your room the way I didn’t get to do when I was in high school.”
Cary’s chest rumbles. He rests his clasped hands on my lower back, fiddling with the bow on my dress. “You want me to kiss you up there?”
“Only if you want to.” I roll my lips between my teeth. “That may not be the person you need me to be for you today. But if I wasn’t open about my own insecurities, I’d be afraid my behavior would make you think I wasn’t able to be that person, anyway.”
“I love you, but I’m not ready to bring you up there yet. Can I kiss you someplace else?”
“You can kiss me anywhere you want.” I wink.
“Here’s a good spot,” Cary moves my hair and pecks between my jawline and my ear, chastely.
It sends shivers down my spine and he winks, promising more when his battered heart can handle it. Then he grabs the cake and we make our way inside.
Davina is warm and inviting. I get the grand tour downstairs on the way out to a covered porch. Bhodi sits there, having gulped down half a glass of lemonade, and is helping himself to the entire plate of crudités.
We’re in the shade and an overhead fan pushes the heat of summer back into the bright yard. Davina points out a few new plants she’s purchased since the weekend she stayed with us in the Outer Banks.
“I’m bored,” Bhodi announces after we’ve eaten. I made him leave his video game at home. “Can I play on your phone?” He holds out a palm to Cary.
“I’ll do you one better. My laptop is in the house and we can go search the online auctions for cars?”
Bhodi fist pumps. They’re off and I’m alone with Davina.
“They’re cute together.” Cary’s mom hums. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I should be the one thanking Davina. Dinner was delicious. I don’t hate the kitchen, but people underestimate how spoiled it feels having a decent meal cooked for you.
“Bringing Bhodi into Cary’s life. Being there for my son. Not believing I’m a harpy.” She lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “I overstayed at the beach. Cary makes himself scarce. I’ve hardly seen him at all since the funeral, and when I have he hasn’t been overjoyed that I’m around.” She leans back in her chair. “He’d called and asked me to leave that morning, but he sounded lighter and it made me curious. I’d apologize for intruding, but I’d be lying. It was nice to see a spark in him. I dare say beforehand it was a relief when he argued with me instead of shutting me out. I am sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable. And I’m grateful you came today.”
“You’re welcome. It was awkward at first, but that was all on you.” I wink and tease Davina. I like her company.
“It was on me.” She laughs, somberly. “I made the mistakes and appreciate that you aren’t holding them against me.”
“You’re not my mother. And I love Cary. He doesn’t need me against you to take his side.”
“You aren’t at all the girl I expected my son to bring home.”
“I sort of figured. What part has you?” I count off on my fingers. “The clothes, the job, the kid, or the age?”
“The acceptance,” she counters. “How truly happy you make him. Watching you two… three,” Davina pauses to include Bhodi. “It’s like Cary found something he didn’t think he’d get. Perhaps even that he wasn’t aware was out there.”
