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“So, I ah—I gotta ask you something. Where do you see things going from here?” Cary boldly presses.
Contrary to any idyllic notions I’ve been toying with, my brain dives into mom-mode, toward Bhodi and school and their big brother field trips.
I set my glass on the deck. He shifts then slides something warm onto my pinky, it’s weighty and dangles loose. The action catches my full attention.
“This is where I see it headed, Hol.” Cary’s fingers twirl the stone upward and I gasp.
The facets glint in the moonlight.
“That’s a mighty big diamond.” My words rush out.
“I want to move it here.” He touches my index finger. “Permanently,” he says with conviction.
“So why didn’t you put it there to start with?” My heart beats fast.
“Good things come to those that wait, so to speak.” His chuckle isn’t as undaunted as the courage he showed a minute ago. “If I promise you this will be the least prophetic, most pathetic attempt at being romantic I make, can you listen to me with an open mind?”
“Sure thing,” I whisper.
Or maybe I blink with my mouth hanging open. He’s proposing and I can’t breathe. Tears prick my eyes.
He wants us forever.
Cary laces our fingers together and I hold on tight. I’ve been drowning in him for months, kicking to the surface to stop from submerging entirely. From wishing for things he can’t give. Hiding those effervescent bubbles that he’d want to make a promise like this to me in the wondrous secret caverns of my journal’s pages.
“When Dusty and I were out on the boat, we got to talking about how long he’s been with Cece and learning not to rush her. Sometimes it’s hard for him to watch Trig and Kimber get ready for the twins since he wants that with Celine, you know? I want that too…with you. And I guess I get that you’ve waited for someone and might worry that time will slip away while you’re being patient. On top of that, you’d be ready if the right man told you he was committed to you. Every damn day for the rest of this life.”
I’m hanging on every word, captivated in a way that makes my insides tremble with shyness, and the excitement that accompanies being young and inexperienced fills me.
“There are expectations you have of me, Doll. To be a decent man to you. A role model for your son. A good son to my mother. It’s made me set the bar higher for me. I’ve been caught, unable to take one last step. I suppose if I go through with putting my house in order, living up to who both of us need me to be, I also need the reassurance you’re waiting here to love me just the same. I know you will. But I want us to have something to look forward to.” He turns his head, gazing up at the moon, openly unsure of himself while amazingly confident in this negotiation.
“Are you going away?”
“Only long enough to miss you like crazy.” He nudges my shoulder. “Takes about a split-second if you haven’t gathered that yet… I have a ticket to New York to meet my half-sister. While I’m there, I want to tell her about my fiancée.” He shrugs. “Be able to invite her to the wedding.”
I have so many questions, but the first that slips off my tongue is, “When did you want to move the ring to the other finger?”
Good God, did that sound anxious?
Cary gives me a nervous chuckle, taking in my blush. “I was hoping now?”
Don’t think about what can go wrong. Focus on what’s going right.
The man I’m in love with placed his flaws at my feet instead of hiding from the things that scare him.
I hold up my hand expectantly and Cary moves the diamond over one digit. It fits securely like Cary had it made for me. He fists his fingers around mine, bringing our joined hands up to kiss my knuckles.
“I want to marry you, Holly.”
I cup his cheeks. “You were wrong,” I say, brushing his lips with mine. “Opening your heart makes this the most romantic thing anyone’s said to me.”
________________
Unable to keep the news to ourselves, we go look for Bhodi, finding him planted on the couch. His nose is pressed to the screen of his video game and Davina has tucked into the thick novel she’s reading near the window.
My little man gives us the same aloof response as he had when I’d told him about my first date with Cary. Cary’s brow furrows, and we exchange concerned glances. I worry my lip and leave the room, trying to hide my disappointment.
Davina is hot on my tail. She grabs me by the elbow. I about-face and she’s hugging me.
