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I had a feeling she’d go to Jake. She trusts him. Why I’ll never understand since his reputation falls a peg lower on the outlaw scale than the drug pushers and gun runners he’s guilty of associating with. But Jake’s been good to Holly and I’m not jealous, even though I could have done whatever she’s decided to ask him to do.
It’s like Dusty said: if I wasn’t around, I’d trust Holly would protect Bhodi at all costs. She took me out of the picture last night because it protected me.
I spent a good part of my life too young and too spoiled to understand what it’s like to fight for the things I wanted. They won’t just land in my lap. Now, the things I want aren’t things at all. They’re people who make their own choices about their own destinies. I can’t make Holly accept me as her hero. She has to be her own. And yes, heroes get knocked down and they bleed. And they get back up and fight.
I get out of the Colony Park and lean against its brilliant trim. A woman is storming out of the building. It’s not Holly. Trig finger flashes me a wave a few minutes later, jumping on his motorcycle, crossing the street, and entering the open fence to park in front of Carver’s mill. He gets why I’m here. We don’t need to speak. Trig’s given me all the advice I’ll ever need about my future wife.
I don’t know what deal Holly’s striking in there, but this is where she works and she’ll leave when she’s ready the way Kimber did.
Holly keeps me waiting another ten. The glimpse I get of her knocks me out. She’s still so goddamned beautiful all I can do is take her in.
Her wrecked expression doesn’t match the flouncy pony. She’s got on a cream-colored crewneck sweatshirt. It’s the traditional kind that has the little upside-down triangle under the center of the collar. Her capris are a deep navy. What little her tattoo is showing disappears under lacy bobby socks. Then there’s her Chucks. Holly’s an innocent picture of days gone by. You’d never assume she’d been inside Sweet Caroline’s, let alone asking a favor of a snake like Jake Ballentine.
Fuck, she’s amazing.
There was a moment when Davina handed over that envelope last night that I worried I’d never see Holly again. My mom told me that my grandfather never got past the crushing torment that he hadn’t done enough for my grandmother and that’s why she walked away. He chose guilt and grief over finding a new love. Davina doesn’t want the same outcome for me.
The change in Davina in the year since Rex has been out of over lives is amazing. She can’t get enough of the kids and—minus the tat, which she still refuses to let me see—acting grandmotherly. I no longer see my mom giving me advice on what to do as overbearing. She’s been through the grinder too, and she only wants what’s best for me. Davina’s words resonated. Yet, the space I gave Holly overnight and this morning was to prove to myself if this all falls apart I tried to do exactly what she needed.
“Why are you here?” Holly asks, approaching me with caution.
As soon as she’s within my reach, I pull her close. I gotta admit. Wondering what Jake wants from Holly in return put me on edge.
Her fists raise between us, which is perfect.
“You forgot something.” I unfurl the tight ball of her left hand, sliding her engagement back where it belongs.
She looks at it. Really, really, looks at it and tears threaten her eyes.
“I can’t marry you,” she chokes out, smashing her lips to grind them between her teeth.
I tip her chin. When she focuses on me, her cheeks dampen.
“Did you do something in there you don’t want to tell me about?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Was it for Bhodi?”
The one thing I’d bet my business on is that Holly does nothing if it doesn’t benefit her kid. That’s the kind of mom she is.
“Yes.”
“If you had to do it all over, would you do it again?” I rub her arms as she shivers.
“Yes,” she replies for a third time with conviction.
“Okay.” I toss my shoulders back and hit my girl with a megawatt grin.
Her brow creases and I kiss her forehead.
“Wh-hat do you mean ‘okay’?”
“As in; Fine. Good. No problem. Sure thing,” I tease her with the last word and then I get serious. “I trust you, Doll. You didn’t want to do what you just did. You don’t plan on cutting me out or keeping secrets again. But you also don’t want any of this coming back on me. Am I right?”
She nods, my words sinking in.
“I was thinking February the fourteenth still works.” I grab both of her hands before she can move away and bring the big rock up to her nose so Holly sees what’s right in her face.
