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Although my son keeps slipping out of the big top before he’ll let me spin him around the dance floor, I’ve cut a rug with everyone else. I’ve kicked off my heels, sliding in time with my girlfriends and swayed to a sappy song with Laurel. And now I’ve found my way back to my husband who holds me close, brushing his soft beard against my temple as he whispers lyrics in my ear.
Aside from my mom and dad not being here for my big day, today is perfect. The only point that my heart struggled was when Cary gave me the gift of Mr. Johnston’s nursery. It’s difficult for me to fathom someone doing something that enormous for me.
My past still is still doing a mental catch up to align with where I am today. It doesn’t feel earned, but I want to take the out.
I swear Jake became harder on and more critical of me since meeting with him last fall. After the wedding invitations went out, it got worse. Jake started showing up during my shifts and telling me what Kelsey does better than I do. Last week, I walked into the building on the hour and got an earful about how he’s finished tolerating my lateness. He’d been so unbearable and on edge that I’d considered quitting if it were an option.
After laying awake on too many of my nights off, worrying Jake believes my staff doesn’t respect me as a manager, I’m astounded he bothered to come today. However, I’d also have half a mind to call Jake if he didn’t since pain in the ass or not, he’s been such a huge part of my life. I’ve given years to Sweet Caroline’s and I don’t know what I’d do if the club weren’t around. I don’t know what I owe him for taking care of my custody issues either. Jake has yet to call in any favors or ask for repayment.
“Still happy?” Cary lowers his forehead to mine.
“I’m thinking about my parents.” I white lie. It feels true when my heart pangs a little in my chest.
He tugs me in tighter as if we’re one whole person and his body could envelop mine and reminds me how wonderful our family is. When Cary pulls away, he looks past me, and a look of curiosity replaces contentment. My gaze swings over my shoulder to Jake.
“May I cut in?”
Cary concedes without question. He may not be Jake’s biggest fan, however, my boss coming through for me went a long way toward changing my husband’s perspective.
Jake places one palm in mine and the other rests in a gentlemanly manner on my hip. We sway stiffly at first. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My happiness is overshadowed by wanting to choose the nursery over my current job. No one else would blame me. But Jake isn’t a nobody in Brighton. He’s an established businessman. Since those activities aren’t always on the up and up it makes him dangerous. I also didn’t put up with his antics for this long without coming to love and appreciate him in my own weird way.
“Word is that you are leaving me.” The blunt words tumble out with an unexpected nonchalance.
“I—uh, I haven’t made my mind up.”
“I’ve trusted you not to lie to me, Holly. Don’t start now.” He pegs me with a hard glare, making me swallow. “You’re fired, anyway. I don’t want people thinking Cass has me in his back pocket. A close association with a pillar of the community makes me look soft.” A devil-may-care smirk breaks over his features.
“Since when?” I scoff, certain Jake’s knocked more than one pillar off of their pedestal. Quite intentionally, too. “You wouldn’t really fire me.” My follow-up remark comes out as a soft question.
I stare at the pearl button on Jake’s shirt. My vision goes in and out like I’m on the ocean and a boat is moving away from me. Waves crest and I realize it’s the haze of tears.
“Listen, Holly, mill girls aren’t meant to work at Sweet Caroline’s forever.” Jake shakes his head, letting out a sigh that’s more of a huff.
“I’m not a mill girl, though, am I?” I blink fast, hoping my eyeliner doesn’t smudge if the wetness spills over and hits my cheeks.
He takes the handkerchief from his suit pocket and drying my tears. “Why don’t you think you wouldn’t be one? Because you didn’t live on the third floor with the rest of your bat crap crazy girlfriends?”
I smack his chest with the back of my hand. He snags it, holding my palm like we’ve made a deal, and gives me the piece of cloth. I look up into his blue eyes. Never having sat down with Jake to be on the same level, I’ve never realized how sad they were. There were things he lost in life too.
Jake’s an enormous pain in my ass. His idiosyncrasies are on par with those of my very best friends. I stayed forhimwhen everyone else left. I get that now. Whatever Jake had to give, that’s what I needed. Not because he was a man who could take care of me, but because he was the only man with a measure of predictability to him. I knew when I could rely on him and when I had to rely on myself. He taught me to be stronger.
It suddenly strikes me why Jake’s been meaner. I thought I’d been the one waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it’s been him all along trying to delay the inevitable: The day I left him.
“Can we be honest here?” he questions.
“Sure, what do I have to lose? Other than my job which you’ve already taken from me.”
“When you started at the club, I would have fucked you in a hot minute—or several of them—given the chance. I’m glad I didn’t.”
“Uh, gee thanks?” I pull away, my lip curling in disgust.
Good god, should we be having this private discussion surrounded by my wedding guests? It isn’t exactly starting my marriage off on the right foot when one of them can run to Cary with this kind of gossip.
Jake chuckles at my loathing, drawing me back into his flat Nordic chest. Tall and broad-shouldered, he wraps his arms around me, so my head is close to his heart. It takes me a second to realize Jake doesn’t want me looking at him.
“Carver is all about giving mill girls a second chance. I knew the moment I hired you, he’d never tap you to live there because of Bhodi. Where was he going to put a kid at the mill? My endgame was using your fashion backward get-ups to give my clientele some variation in their eye candy. When they’d had their fill ofRosie the Riveter, I’d have a taste of Americana myself before sending you on your merry way.”
“You don’t say?”
