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I pulled the blinds closed with a sharp tug on the cord before sitting behind the desk and pushing my face into my hands. The pressure of my fingers against my eyes was little comfort. Every muscle in my body ached from the absolute beasting I’d been giving myself in my home gym. Between catching up with business and brutally working out, I hadn’t seen Maeve since she went off to see her brothers. It had been the best part of a week that I’d ignored her, and although I told myself I didn’t care about her, how she was faring in Father’s house niggled at me. I’d thought about inviting her to my apartment in Edinburgh, but being that close to her made my blood run hot and cold. Seeing her so often would only make it more difficult when she left... or was removed. Despite the thoughts of her plaguing my head, the memory of her thighs imprinted on my cheeks and seeing her glow with pleasure, she wasn’t mine to keep. She was still a McGowan in all but name. She was like one of those poisonous exotic animals, beautiful but that would ultimately render you dead, inside if not physically. I’d lost enough already, I didn’t need anyone else to fail.
With a groan, I pulled out a bottle of amber fire from the cupboard below the desk. I wasn’t a huge drinker, but I’d had more than I cared to admit in the days that had gone by since the honeymoon. I topped up a glass and sipped, letting the heat suffuse through my tense muscles and overwrought mind.
Just as I finally relaxed into my seat, closing my eyes and letting the whisky lull me into a moment of calm, my door burst open, slamming against the yellowing walls of the old office. I jolted upright, losing my footing and nearly careening off of the side of my chair.
‘What the fu--‘ I started, before seeing my sister at the precipice of the room, looking sceptically at both me and my whisky.
‘So this is where you are hiding out?’ She said, coming into the room and plonking herself onto the edge of the desk, taking my whisky bottle and tipping it out into the bin.
‘You know I have plenty more, right?’ I watched the liquid slosh out of the bottle. It was good stuff, too. I steeled myself against the anger bubbling up and breathed ice back into my veins.
‘Yes. But you probably don’t have more here, so I can make my point all the same.’ Just about anyone else would have ended up with a broken nose, but Katie knew I’d never be able to hurt her. ‘Why are you avoiding Maeve?’
She set the empty bottle down and crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at me. ‘I’m not.’
‘You are.’
‘I’ve just had a lot to catch up on since I’ve been back.’
‘Uh-huh, I’m sure. But you’ve got to find time to eat and sleep and you could have come home for that. Leaving Maeve to fend for herself is hardly going to aid in wooing her.’
I spluttered out a cough and stood up, brushing off my suit as I glared at my sister. ‘I have zero intention of wooing Maeve. The sooner she’s gone, the better.’
‘You don’t mean that. I saw the way you reacted when Father spoke to her. You were mad. Like you are when he talks to me. I don’t know what went down when you were away, but something changed. You care, a bit.’
‘I don’t. I just know she wants to be here as much as I do - as in not at all. We both want out, and that gives us some understanding. But I still hate her. She’s still one of them.’
Katie tipped her head at me and sighed. ‘Mhmm, you keep telling yourself that. I’ll be out in the car. You’d better be out in five. Father want’s you home for dinner, and he’s not taking no for an answer.’
The door closed behind Katie as she let herself out of the office, and I slumped back against the shelving behind my desk. I needed distance, but there was no way dad was going to let me have that. Being close to her was going to be torture, especially with my dad on hand to fuck with us both. I closed my eyes to another flash of her in the outdoor shower; the shampoo streaming down between her tits and over her fucking delicious thighs.
Damn, I needed to get laid. Needed to erase the memory of her with images of someone else. Cleanse the palate. I wasn’t the sort of guys who got het up over a woman. I gave them a good time and had a good time in return before sending them off without another thought.
The wedding vows niggled at me from somewhere back in my treacherous brain, reminding me I’d promised to remain faithful. It wasn’t like it was a real wedding. Except that it was. There was a lot of morally fucked shit I did in my life, but lying was never my thing. A promise is a promise. And until Maeve was removed from my life, I couldn’t go fucking around on her. I’d seen enough of that happen to my mother, and I never wanted to be anything like my father. My word meant something to me, if no one else.
It was normal to get turned on by being around a hot woman. I was a red-blooded male, and she was an attractive woman, the exact type I’d normally go for. It was only natural to be experiencing arousal. Yes, that’s all it was. Just an urge.
But I’d also been wrapped up in a fierce protectiveness when she’d crumpled in my arms. That had nothing to do with arousal... and it wasn’t so easy to explain away. The need to damage the people who hurt her had been overwhelming, and made no sense given that I had no reason to care for her. Her own father and mine, too. But loyalty is the core of what we do. My family is everything, no matter how shit they are. I can’t betray it for my fake wife, no matter how much the idea of hurting her more brings a wave of nausea washing over me.
I groaned as I turned off the lights and locked up the office. I would rather have done just about anything other than go to a family dinner, but Father never took no for an answer.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MAEVE
I tried to focus on my phone as I scrolled Instagram, but my eyes may as well have been full of sand. It had been the best part of a week since Cameron had abandoned me at the Thompson mansion and all but scarpered. Bar occasionally going to source food. I’d barely left my room. Well, Cameron’s room, really. My room was still in my father’s home.
It had been long days full of boredom. I’d scrolled through my socials a billion times, only to be reminded how much fun everyone I knew, and many that I didn’t, were having while I was shut up in my new prison. I’d binged enough box sets to be reluctant to engage in any more TV, and the books I’d brought were long finished.
Footsteps sounded outside the room in the long marble laid hallway, and every muscle I had tensed. I’d been dreading Harold coming to my room, especially with no Cameron or Katie there to be a buffer. I knew his morals were about as solid as a fucking jelly. Nights were the worst, they were the times I’d figured he was more likely to be home, so I’d barely slept. Everything ached, and I just wanted to turn my brain off somehow. To escape into a dream. To escape from real life for just a little. But sleep had been all but elusive.
The footsteps receded, and I sighed, rubbing at my eyes. Every part of me ached and my legs were gripped with the urge to stretch them out every twenty seconds. Even some in-room yoga hadn’t helped. I missed swimming and laughing with my brothers and just having my day to myself, mostly. My father had always had expectations and rules, but I’d figured when I’d eventually married I would have gained more freedom, not lose it.
Maybe it was all my fault... maybe I shouldn’t have pushed Cameron away after he’d gone down on me. It’s not like I hadn’t considered more with him. Maybe I needed to keep him sweet for my protection. Maybe I’d need to seduce him when he showed up. There was a family dinner that evening. Perhaps I could dress up and flirt with him, make him unable to resist me.
Or maybe I was doomed to a life of jumping at every closing door and voice outside of my room. Fear and broken sleep could be my future for as long as I was still valuable to Harold.
Katie has been the one light in the dark. So sweet and bubbly and welcoming. She’d not been around much, avoiding her father while Cameron was absent as best as she could, but she’d made an effort to see me when she was here. She’d brought brownies and a book and tried to cheer me up without there being any benefit to her. It would hurt to bring her family down around her. I could only hope that she would survive the fall undamaged. Katie had been full of fun until I mentioned her father’s skeletons and if she knew what he’d been hiding, but she had shaken her head and lowered her voice and let me know there was nothing she knew. Even if she had, she was too petrified of her father to stand against him. She did tell me that if there was anything incriminating, it would be in Harold’s office and likely under lock and key. The situation seemed to get more impossible by the day.
