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But this is only supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be wild, unhinged, no-holds-barred sex, nothing more. And snuggling in bed together after divulging a dark secret about myself seems like it crosses a line from “just sex” into something more than that.
“I’m not going to tackle you if you want to sit on the bed.”
I blush vividly—both at his mind-reader ways, and the slight disappointment I feel when he says it. But just the same, I nod, smiling as I walk over to sit on the edge of the bed. It feels forced and awkward. So a second later, I move back to sit up against the headboard next to him.
I sigh, my mouth twisting. “I really am sorry I was such a bitch to that woman tonight. I just…” I shake my head, sighing. “It’s just that this is all so new to me. Seeing you, I mean—” I blush. “I mean, not that we’reseeingeach other seeing each other. But…I mean, I…you—”
“Elsa.”
I shiver when his hand drops to mine, taking it in his much bigger one and squeezing.
“This is new to me, too.”
I scoff. “What, coming home with a girl and not getting laid?”
“Coming home with a girl when I’ve already come home with her before.”
My brow knits. “Hmm?”
“I don’t do repeats,” he says quietly. “Ever. I’ve never once been with someone, or gone out with someone, and then done it again.”
On the one hand, thinking about Hades going home withanyone, even once, makes me feel homicidal. And that alone is something I should probably unpack with the help of a professional. But also…hang on,what?
“And Ilikethat I was your first…”
I tense.
He feels it.
“…notbecause of any fetish regarding your fucking virginity. But because it saves me from having to go find, castrate and murder anyone else who’s ever touched you before.”
I blush, grinning as I bite my lip.
“Whydidyou kiss me that night?” Hades suddenly growls.
My pulse quickens as he turns to me.
“I mean you just said you weren’t interested in casual sex. But you pickedmeof all people, in a fucking sex club, to finally lose your virginity to, at twenty-six.”
I nod. “And?”
“And I think I fucking deserve to know why.”
He does. But I can’t tell him. Part of me—actually quite a lot of me—wantsto tell him about all of that. About Leo, and the pressure he was putting on me, and the threats. About how I went to that club that night with every intention of ripping the band-aid off and breaking my father’s hold on me.
But I can’t. Because I’m scared that if I do, he’ll get up from this bed, walk out the door, and never come back.
“I…” A deep breath. “I guess I finally decided I wanted to. I was going to Venom with my boss for a client meeting anyway.”
“With Dante?” he growls. “That’s what you were talking about earlier that day at the meeting?”
I nod. “Except when we got there, I wasn’t needed for it after all.”
“And a sex club where everyone wears masks and doesn’t use names is a pretty solid place to go if you’re in the market to lose your virginity to a stranger but have a fear of that stranger bumping into you on the street afterward and forcing you to face your sins.”
Mother.Fucker. He’s good at this—reading my mind, peering inside my soul. Seeing my thoughts, however hidden I keep them.
“Yeah, basically.”
