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“Holy shit is right,” Kip replied. He was only wearing his underwear, the rest of his clothes discarded in various areas of the sand.
“You did that to distract me from going into the water,” I deduced, far too sated to be angry.
“It worked, didn’t it?”
There was a hint of victory in his tone.
Such an asshole.
My first instinct was to argue with him. Arguing with Kip was my default. But I was feeling soft and fuzzy, and arguing might harshen my buzz. Maybe it was time for a different tactic.
“The beach is my place,” I told him. “The ocean. It always has been. We lived in a shitty house when I was growing up. It was dark, dingy, and always had spiders the size of your fist.”
He shuddered visibly, and I giggled at the thought of him being afraid of spiders, of all things.
“Yeah, it was pretty shit,” I agreed. “But it was a five-minute walk to the beach. And I went there to escape for as long as I can remember. Definitely when I was much too young to be wandering around the streets.” I wiped some sand off Kip’s nose. “I’d go swimming, go as deep as I could, stay in until I was exhausted, and then I’d crawl onto the beach and dry myself in the sun.” I smiled at the memory and the sun beating down on the both of us. Even across continents and years, the sun felt the same.
“And when I was married, we had a much nicer house, in a much nicer area, and it was right on the beach that time.”
Oh, how the place had charmed me and intimidated me all at the same time. It had seemed like a palace, one I’d stumbled into by accident, and everyone was too polite to tell me to fuck off.
“I’d go there often, when things got bad, which was pretty fucking soon after the honeymoon,” I said. “The salt water washed away blood and bruises just fine. And didn’t attract any sharks, luckily. Or maybe at the time I wanted something to tear me apart,” I mused.
Kip’s arms tightened around me. I restrained an eye roll, unsurprised that the mere mention of my previous abuse made him all alpha angry. Though I did kind of like it.
“One of the many reasons I settled here is because of the ocean,” I told him. “That and Nora was like… love at first sight. But the ocean, it… I don’t know. This is going to sound far too new age-y for me, but it really… called to me.” I stared at the waves. “And though I’m not in a chaotic, abusive home anymore, I’ve got plenty of chaos going on inside my head.” I rubbed my stomach. “So, I need this. I need the sand, the breeze, the salt water.” I looked back at Kip. “You are not taking that from me.”
He didn’t look exactly happy, but that could’ve been the trip down memory lane that wasn’t too cheerful.
He sighed, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I waited for him to argue with me.
Instead of saying anything, Kip stood up, and since I was lying on top of him, he stood with me in his arms. That was pretty impressive considering my added weight. He didn’t put me down like I expected him to. He started walking, right into the ocean.
I gasped as the crisp water washed against our bodies, Kip taking us deeper into the surf.
“You get this,” he murmured close to my mouth, “whenever I’m here with you.”
My immediate reaction was to argue with him, let him know I could go to the beach whenever the fuck I wanted. But then Kip’s arms tightened around me and our wet bodies pressed together, and I relished in the feeling of someone holding me up against the waves.
So instead of arguing, I just said, “Okay.”
nineteen
The Nursery
Kip waswith me when I went to the next OB appointment. I was supposed to have ‘graduated’ from my biweekly appointments, but due to the accident, they were checking on me a little more often than normal.
Everything was fine, even though I still hadn’t gotten past the rolling sense of dread that came over me every time I walked through the doors. Kip’s hand stayed in mine the entire time, and fuck if I didn’t hold on to it like it was keeping me tethered to this earth.
His physical affection had come back with a vengeance.
Not just for me.
But for our baby girl too.
Whenever his hand wasn’t in mine, on my ass, or groping my growing tits, it was on my stomach. Which was weird and also kind of… wonderful?
