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I didn’t exert much pressure, just enough to keep him in place, make him gasp for air, and think he was about to die. I liked seeing that fear in his eyes. He fucking deserved every second of it.
“If I could make you live two seconds away from death for the rest of your miserable life, I would do it,” I ground out. “I would make every fucking moment of your existence terrifying, make it so you never got to feel love or joy or anything apart from the knowledge that you were about to become worm food.” I squeezed a little harder, and his eyes bulged. “But I don’t have that kind of time,” I sighed. “I’ve got a wife. A… baby.” My vision blurred for a second. With fury. I had to stop myself from losing it completely and breaking his neck then and there.
He kept gasping for air.
That wasn’t enough.
“A wife and baby you almost killed today because you had whisky for breakfast—which is fine when you’re ruining your own life, but then you got behind the wheel of a car and almost ruinedmyfuckin’ life.”
His hands were clawing at mine now. Weak. Fumbling. Like he was playing at trying to survive but not really committing to it.
The person having whisky for breakfast and then getting behind the wheel of a car didn’t seem like someone really committed to surviving. I’d been that person. Granted, I’d never chosen to drive a car, but I’d been that low. Someone else might’ve had empathy for this guy, offered a helping hand that wasn’t clutching his throat. Not fucking me.
“Now, I’m obviously deranged enough to come into your hospital room and assault you while you’ve got a uniformed guard,” I said conversationally. “And if circumstances were different, I wouldn’t have a problem with killing you here either. But that’s too complicated.”
His strangled breaths became shallower now, and his limbs flailed.
I sighed, releasing my hands. He was about to pass out, and that wouldn’t work.
He coughed and spluttered once I released the pressure, and I stepped back, waiting for him to shut the fuck up.
“Just because I didn’t kill you today doesn’t mean I won’t tomorrow,” I told him, speaking louder to drown out his pathetic coughs. “I’m gonna find the shithole you live in, gonna find out everything about you, and I’m gonna make sure you don’t sleep soundly. I’m gonna ruin your fuckin’ life for as long as I decide you get to live it.”
Though I had decided not to kill him, I had a split second where I was back in my hometown, trying to fathom the fact that my wife and daughter were dead. And when I came back into this hospital room, I didn’t have full control of my faculties.
Luckily, it was only for a split second, and then I regained the ability to think about a future beyond covering up a murder.
I had a wife and baby.
Who were alive and needed me to step the fuck up.
So I turned around and walked out of the room.
seventeen
Coffee, Pastries, and Winning Her Back
fiona
There wasn’tmuch respite after Kip had left my hospital room. I could barely digest what he’d told me before Nora came bursting in, her eyes filled with tears and relief.
Not long after that was Tiffany, Tina, and then Calliope.
All of them fussed over me in their own way, distracting me from my worry for a time, but not from Kip. Nothing could do that.
Eventually they all left, Tina and Tiffany to hit the mall and get me some new clothes and toiletries, and Calliope to find someone to ‘get me into a better room,’ like we were in a Four Seasons and not a hospital. I tried telling her this room was fine, especially since I was only going to be here for the night, but arguing with her was fruitless.
“She’ll probably end up head of surgery before you’re discharged,” Nora joked after her sister-in-law left.
I let out a chuckle. “She’ll probably be in charge of the whole damn hospital.”
Calliope was a force of nature, and I pitied whomever she was about to encounter. I was glad they all left, since I needed to talk to Nora. Today was obviously a day for spilling secrets, and I was exhausted thinking about carrying on a charade for any longer.
“There’s one more thing I haven’t been quite so honest about,” I said, sitting up in bed and wincing slightly. I wasn’t able to get the good drugs on account of the child inside me, so I felt exactly like I’d been in a semiserious car accident.
“Please tell me it’s not something that will send your alpha male husband into a spin,” Nora said, rushing to help me up and adjust my pillow. “I don’t want that for you, and I think that man might explode if he produces any more testosterone.”
I grinned weakly at that. She wasn’t wrong. Kip hadn’t quite done the brooding badass thing like Rowan did. He was more of the cheeky sidekick.Hotcheeky sidekick, to be fair, but sidekick, nonetheless.
