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“It’s not like that, Puck, but I don’t think I can actually live without you.”
He chuckles again.
“That’s very dramatic, even for you. Come on,” he says and starts to back out the door of the small dark room, holding my hand securely. King and Dax are nowhere to be seen, so we make our way back to my cell. I know how ridiculous I sound, but this cell and Puck really are all I have now and I don’t want to be without them, out in the unknown. I’ve been back and forth with King so many times. My father has dismissed and shunned me for years. I know I’m in captivity, with the never-ending danger that a predator will finally succeed in catching its prey. But even dying here is surely better than going back out there, forced to be lonely and isolated again. Right?
Puck opens my cell door and lets me inside before closing it and joining me on my shitty mattress, in the exact same position we were in before King took me away.
This is all I need.
19
THEO
I joltawake and look around, taking in my surroundings, and instantly find relief when my eyes scan the familiar small room and Puck in his usual spot next to the gate. It’s been three weeks since King came in and told me I was going to live in the Rhivers mansion, but luckily for me, in the most peculiar way, I’m still here.
I haven’t seen or heard from King or Dax since they left me on my own in that small dark room where Puck came to get me. I don’t understand why I’m still here as King made it very clear I wasn’t staying.
Part of me wonders if Dax spoke to him after talking to me, but I still don’t understand why King would go back on his word. Either way, I’m grateful. But every morning for the past three weeks, I’ve woken up frightened that I’m no longer here and I’ve been taken away against my will.
I have nightmares of faceless men taking me in the dead of night away from Puck. I wake up screaming and sweating but always hear Puck soothing me through the wall. He’ll tell me stories. He’ll count until I fall back asleep. He’ll predict the weather for our next outing into the small yard?my favourite game.
But every night they come. And every morning I panic, until I know I’m still here.
Puck sighs and makes his way over to me, taking his place next to me as his arm curls around my shoulders.
His manly scent fills my nostrils and like always, I find comfort with him.
“Still not getting any better then?” he questions. “What are we going to do with you, hmm?” He soothes, rubbing softly at my arm.
“I don’t know how to make it stop. I feel like I’m going crazy,” I admit.
“You’ve gone through some crazy shit, T. Being in here for months, finding out what your father had planned, watching your back constantly in here. I’m surprised you haven’t gone full batshit crazy yet.” He chuckles.
“It’s not funny,” I mumble tiredly.
“I know.” He smiles, kissing my forehead.
I told Puck everything King had told me back in that interrogation room when Puck brought me back to my cell. He didn’t seem surprised.
“I’ve seen the shit these men are capable of, T. Nothing surprises me anymore,”he’d said.
I often think about a young Puck, only eighteen years old, living with the grief of losing his love and his unborn baby, only to be thrown in here to live out the rest of his days.
No one deserves that, especially not Puck. He has so much love to give. So much love already given to Bonnie and their baby and the rest now wasted because they’re gone. It makes me so angry that Carlo Rhivers took that away from him.
Murdered his own daughter and grandchild because she fell pregnant.
Puck deserves the world and he deserves a life and love as great as he had. I won’t rest until he gets it.
“Puck, if you could get out of here, what would you do?” I whisper.
He’s quiet for many minutes, both of us thinking over my question.
“Honestly, T, I wouldn’t have a clue.”
I shuffle in his arms so I can look up at him.
“I’ve been in this shithole for so long, Theo, I don’t even know what’s out there anymore. But I know she isn’t. I’m not sure if I could live my life fully, out in that world without her,” he says with pain in his voice.
