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Kylie raised her eyebrows.
“Maybe more than kissed.”
“Sierra,” she groaned. “I want details that allow me to live vicariously through you.”
I laughed even as I felt my cheeks getting hot. Wewerein the middle of a public restaurant. I leaned forward, lowering my voice slightly. “He wouldn’t let me touch him at all, and I don’t know why. But God, the things that man can do with his tongue. I don’t even know how to tell you how incredible it was.”
Kylie squealed. “And then?”
“Nothing. His pants didn’t even come off. He carried me to bed and left. Obviously he came back since he was there when I woke up this morning, but first he left.”
“Hm.” Kylie nudged my drink closer to me. “So he got you off and didn’t even ask you to blow him? That doesn’t sound like something you should be complaining about.”
“I just don’t trust him not to change his mind. I know he’s attracted to me, but I get the feeling he doesn’t want to be.”
“I still think you should go for it. He obviously likes you. Stop thinking so hard. The world isn’t going to end no matter what you decide to do. Even if it turns out to be a mistake, some mistakes are worth making.”
“Uh-huh.” I gave her my most unimpressed face.
She held up her hands. “Hey, some mistakes arenotworth making. I know. And I’ve made a lot of those. But you’re not me, Sierra. Every guy you’ve been with has been because you wanted him, not because you’re terrified of being alone. You’re not in danger of making my mistakes.”
“But what if he isn’t a mistake?” I asked. “What if he’s everything I’ve been waiting for, and then he leaves when I no longer need a bodyguard? I’m afraid if I give him my heart, I won’t be able to get it back.”
“Have you tried praying about it? Seems like if you were going to lose your heart to an angel, God would have a plan or least an opinion about that.”
We talked for a little while longer about Kylie’s family drama, a guy I’d met at church Sunday, and the depressing lack of overlapping shifts we had at the café moving forward.
After a while, Kylie stole my phone and invited Nate to join us. The girl time with her was nice, but honestly I was kind of relieved she was calling Nate in. I’d gotten used to having him around. The distance felt… wrong.
Nate appeared at our table less than a minute after Kylie texted. He slid into the booth beside me, and his hand immediately found my thigh. His skin was cold enough to make me jump.
“Sorry.” He withdrew his hand quickly.
“Were you sitting outside?”
He shrugged. “There were benches, and it beat hanging out in a fast-food joint for hours on end.”
“You could have said something.” I grabbed his hand in both of mine and drew it up to my mouth so I could blow hot air on it.
He smirked at me. “It was more than worth it for this reaction.”
I felt the flush that crept into my cheeks. I didn’t want to look at Kylie, didn’t want to know what expression she wore. So I met Nate’s gaze instead. He was staring at me the way he had last night, like I was the only thing in his world. I bit my lip and watched his eyes darken.
He tugged my lip from between my teeth with his free hand. His cold skin felt nice against my overly warm face as he trailed his fingers from my lip, over my cheek, and into my hair.
And I realized something in that moment. All my reservations and fears might be pointless. I didn’t think I wasin dangerof losing my heart to Nate at all. I’dalreadylost it. I couldn’t tell you exactly when, but it belonged to him and probably had for a while.
Eighteen
Sierra
My back hitthe mat and I winced.
“You’re still tensing when you fall,” Nate said. “Don’t fight it or you’ll end up getting hurt.”
I let my head fall back against the ground and closed my eyes. “I’m fine.”
“You won’t be if you spend the next hour falling like that.”
