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I blinked. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“Not a blood brother. Joriel’s been my family for longer than you’ve been alive.”
“Joriel’s sick?” He’d seemed fine when he came for dinner three weeks ago, but that didn’t mean anything.
“He’s known for nearly a year. I just found out tonight.”
“What kind of—?”
“I don’t want to talk about the details.”
“Okay.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. It felt strange to be the one trying to comfort Sam. He’d always been the one in control, the person I’d believed could do anything. Thinking of him as a person who was afraid to lose his family, just like anybody else, was strange. I’d built him up to be larger than life.
Sam tightened his fingers around my hand. “I’m sorry for messing things up for you. I tried to stay away.”
I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I know. And you didn’t mess anything up.”
“I can’t give you what you want.” The tortured look in his eyes broke my heart. “I wish I could, but Ican’t.”
I wanted to ask him why, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. He’d already shared more with me tonight than I’d ever expected from him. I wasn’t going to push my luck.
“It’s okay,” I said instead.
Sam shifted, and a second later I was on my back on the couch, him hovering over me. “I thought I told you not to bullshit me.”
My heart pounded against my rib cage as if it was fighting to get out of my chest altogether. “What do you want me to say?”
He let out a short laugh. “Anything as long as it’s the truth. I don’t want pretty words that aren’t true because you think they’re what I want to hear. You’re better than that, Siren.”
“Fine. I want everything from you, but I’ll take anything right now.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“Because you make the hurt go away.”
He shook his head. “I’m not a good guy, Siren.”
“So you’ve mentioned. But I feel safe with you, and I don’t believe you’d ever hurt me or blackmail me or use me to get closer to my family. So honestly, you don’t exactly strike me as abadguy.”
Sam growled. “Whoever set your standards for men deserves to die.”
I lifted my hand to his chest, where his heart was beating nearly as wildly as mine. “It’s not about them. It’s about you. No one makes me feel like you do.”
“Siren—”
“Please hold me. Just for a little while.”
For a second I thought he was going to stand up and leave, but then he shifted again and the next thing I knew, he was the one on the bottom and I was lying across his chest. His arms wrapped around me like bands of steel, and I couldn’t help relaxing into his warmth.
The last thing I remembered was his lips brushing over the top of my head before my eyes closed and I drifted off in the cocoon of his protection.
* * *
I openedmy eyes and immediately snapped them shut again when sunlight flooded my vision. I was most definitely not in my room or my bed. There was a warm, hard body under mine and strong arms holding me captive.
I took a deep breath. The scent of citrus and roses filled my senses.
Sam.
