AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’ll make sure she understands what she’s done.
Her name will be a reminder of what she cost me. A reminder of what she took.
I’ll never love her.
Not only did she kill my child but because of the trauma caused to my body, I can’t bear Theo any sons.
He said I’m useless to him.
So, she will be useless to me.
Vanya.
Vanya.
Vanya.
My poor bravelioness is sobbing by the time she gets to the last entry. Her tears wet the pages. I gather her in my arms and hold her to me. Her entire body is shaking from the force of her cries. It angers me to think that a parent would blame a child for something they have no control over. Vanya didn’t strangle her sister with the cord in the womb. Anyone with half a brain would know that due to the compressed space, it's more likely to happen with twins. I look at the photo that is tucked in between the pages where she was reading.
This was her damning proof that Vanya was a murderer?
All it shows is that she's lying on her side her small arms stretched out toward her sister. To me, it looks more as if she is comforting and not harming. It seems to me as if the anger was less about her child dying and more about her inability to be able to conceive an heir.
“None of this is true,solnyshka,” I whisper to her as I rub a hand up and down her back. “These are the words of a grieving woman whose selfishness cost her the best thing in her life. A relationship with you.”
“I know,” she murmurs sadly. “But it still hurts.”
“And it will for a while,” I tell her honestly. “That feeling of rejection may never go away, but it will get better over time.”
She nods her head but doesn’t say anything.
There’s nothing to say. For years she must have wondered about the way her parents treated her. What had she done to deserve their hatred and disgust? The answer was, absolutely nothing. Her mother was sick long before she lost her first child. Anyone can see that from her writings. Her last entry is the ramblings of someone whose grief and mental fitness were long gone.
I’m just sorry that Vanya had to be the one to suffer.
“Let’s put her back in her resting place,” I tell her softly as I pull away. “And head back to the penthouse.”
Vanya nods solemnly before detangling herself from me. She places the journals gently back into the casket along with one of the bracelets I often see her wear. She’d brought it with her when we first came here.
My beautiful lioness places a soft two-fingered kiss on the coffin lid and watches with sad eyes as we place her back inside the tomb.
“I’ll have the men come by later and seal it back up,” Anton assures her. Vanya nods gratefully. Anton leads the way out of the crypt and I follow, stopping at the top of the stairs to wait for Vanya who is standing quietly in front of her mother’s grave.
“I loved you even though you didn’t deserve my love.” Her voice is low sough as if she is telling her a secret. “I’m sorry you didn’t have the capacity to love me.”
My jaw clenches when I hear those words because I feel them deep inside of me.
Vanya is to be my wife, but that doesn’t mean I will ever love her. Because, like her mother, I no longer have the capacity to love. It’s been tarnished and tainted by my past. Unlike her mother, however, I will treat my wife with respect. I will care for her every need. She will never want for anything.
I’ll give her the world.
Just not my heart.
Thirty-Three
Something is off with Adrian as we make our way to the penthouse. Since we walked out from the tomb, he's been deep in thought, lost to the world around him. The only time he looks up from his phone is when Anton updates him about something at work. Maybe he hadn't meant what he said about the death of my infant sister not being my fault.
Or maybe it's something else.
