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Neither of us say anything on the way back to his house but his hand, his large strong warm hand is firmly resting on my thigh as he weaves us through traffic. The buzz has slowly started to wear off and the gravity of what I’m about to do takes over. I open my phone and open my messages with Parker, unanswered ones from last night and this morning that are starting to irritate me.Perhaps I’m being a bit of a hypocrite with what has transpired between me and Jacob but what the fuck?
Definitely a hypocrite.
“The boyfriend?” he asks.
“Fiancé,” I correct, though I don’t really know why.
“Does it make a difference?” he counters and I look out the window as we near Jacob’s house. He lives in a somewhat secluded community about fifteen minutes from my parents that he kept even while he was in Mexico. I think he had a housekeeper and a gardener come in monthly to maintain it and a few family members and friends may have stayed there while they were in town visiting but for the most part it had been vacant for three years while he was gone.
“It isn’t fair.”
“What isn’t, angel?”
I try to ignore one of the many pet names Jacob had for me but my heart flutters in my chest. “Any of this. All of this. We would probably be married by now. Or at least engaged… the way you always were with me before you decided to end us on a fucking whim,” I bite out. “I believe you would have had a ring on my finger the second my parents knew about us. Instead, now we’re in this mess because you’re having a mid-life crisis or whatever the fuck and realized you don’t want to spend the rest of your years drowning in random pussy. That’s what this is right? You’re over being single and you realize no one can suck your dick like I can?”
I was angry. At him. At myself. Angry at the world for putting me back in this situation when I fought like hell to get out of it. For giving the man I’ve loved my whole life back to me when I wasn’t free to love him anymore.
It took almost a full year but I’d mended my broken heart the best way I knew how and now he was here ripping out the stitches that I’d used to do it.
Where was this energy before I met Parker? Where was he then?
“You waited until I moved on to come blow up my life?”
“You think that’s what this is about,” he snaps. “You think this is about sex? When did you get to be so cynical?”
“Probably around the time the only man I ever loved broke my heart. The same man who had spent years kissing my tears away became the cause of them.”
He pulls onto his street and he doesn’t say anything as he pulls into his driveway. It’s relatively long, maybe enough for six or seven cars to park leading up to a four-car garage. His house was large, sleek and modern and looked and felt like my dream home. Despite my annoyance, I am happy to be here. Once upon a time, Jacob’s house was the place I felt most comfortable and safe. For two years, this place felt more like home than anywhere else.
The pool and outdoor fireplace he had didn’t hurt either.
I’m about to get out of the car when he grabs my hands and brings them to his lips, kissing my fingertips before nibbling on my index finger. My mouth goes dry at the feeling of his teeth grazing my skin. “Whitney, I haven’t slept with anyone.”
My head cocks to the side. “What do you mean?”
“While we’ve been apart, I haven’t been with anyone else,” he says just before his lips form a straight line. “You’re the last woman I’ve slept with.”
Iwatch her lips part and a gasp leaves her wet pink lips as she realizes what I said. “You… you haven’t?” She looks away from me, her eyes wide and unblinking before turning back to me. “HOW!? Have you seen you? You’re telling me no one in Mexico wanted to jump on the unbelievably gorgeous, successful, charming, DOCTOR?”
Her voice is high pitched and I used to love when she got animated like this.
“You are literally McDreamy and McSteamy personified and you haven’t had sex in THREE years!? I had sex with myself last night justthinkingabout you!”
My eyebrows raise as that confession slips through her lips. My cock hardens at the thought of her slipping her fingers in her sexy little pussy. A vibrator running over her sensitive nub as she screamed my name through her climax. “You did, huh?” I cock my head to the side and give her a smug grin. “What were we doing?”
She bites her bottom lip as she presses a hand to her forehead shielding her eyes from me. “I can’t believe I told you that.”
“Why? You were always honest with me. You told me everything. You always have.” I shrug. “Even before all of this…” And that was true, Whitney always told me everything. Things she didn’t even tell her parents. Her first crush. The first time she failed a test. When she got drunk for the first time. When she smoked for the first time. I picked her up from more parties when she’d snuck out of her house and even covered for her once or twice when her parents suspected she was out somewhere she had no business being. I was the first person she told that she wanted to be a lawyer and the first person she called at three a.m. when she finally worked up the nerve to open what would come to be her acceptance letter from Stanford letting her know she got in for undergrad.
She doesn’t respond to what I said, she just stares off into space before she finally turns back to me and meets my gaze. Her eyes are glassy and I can see the unshed tears dying to fall. “How… why?”
I let out a sigh and slide my seat back to lean back a little. The car is still on but I don’t want to risk changing the direction that this night is headed by suggesting we go inside yet. I’m trying to let her navigate where things go and she seems to be comfortable sitting in my driveway as the faint sounds of The Weeknd play through my speakers.
“When I got down there, it was mayhem. We were working for days on end. Forty-hour shifts. Ninety-hour weeks. I mean, you saw how those first few months of the pandemic were; there was so much uncertainty and chaos. I barely slept or ate and when I did it was at the hospital. I think it took me two months to call my mom. I felt like I was in a daze and one day I looked up and I’d been there nine months. It was still crazy, but I was at least starting to leave the hospital for more than a few hours at a time. I was just busy…”
“Saving the world?” She smiles. “God, you can’t actually be this perfect.”
I lean over the console and brush my nose against hers. “Are you referring to me as God?”
