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“He barely paid her any attention and probably said ten words to her the whole time.” I can picture Whitney’s smile from here. Her eyes lighting up at the fact that she’s the only woman that has my attention. Even when we were in mixed company, my focus was always on her even if my eyes weren’t.
“Oh, well… I’m sure there’s a woman out there for JP somewhere. He’ll find her eventually.”
Idrop to the king-sized bed in my hotel room, the weight of not having a relaxing moment all day taking over. I felt out of control. Nervous. Anxious. Scared. Alone. I hate to admit it but I was somewhat grateful I was forced to leave the hospital to grant me some alone time and away from Parker’s cold gaze. He’d never been like this with me before. It’s like he changed overnight. I rack my brain trying to understand what could have caused this change in demeanor. It can’t just be about not answering their initial calls. To my parents’ point, he’d always been a little aloof and stoic at times but he had never been that way with me. He had never been so cold with me. I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells since I got here and now that I’m alone I feel like I can breathe.
I kick off my shoes and decide to listen to my mother’s advice and make my way into the bathroom to run a bath. I already know I should expect to hear from JP soon but I don’t want to call him in case he hasn’t escaped my mother’s wrath over the date. I’ll admit it pleased me to hear that he didn’t give her the time of day. I don’t know how he’ll explain why he isn’t interested but at this point I can’t bring myself to care. I pour in a considerable amount of bubble bath before making my way back into the room to open the bottle of wine I bought downstairs and take off my clothes. I take a healthy sip of the wine, trying to quiet the thoughts over what I’m going to do about Parker.
I slip into the tub, watching as the water rises around me and I let my eyes close as I think back to the first time I met Parker.
Three Years Ago
I was meeting Chloe for dinner but of course she was late. Probably arguing with Trey for the tenth time this week. They need to just call it quits already. Tale as old as time, he doesn’t want a commitment, she does, whatever. I pick up my cosmopolitan that I’d ordered with my fake ID that our waiter barely glanced at as I look around the room. The restaurant is still new and thereby very crowded especially with all the crowd restrictions being lifted. It’s high-end Asian fusion and the chef recently competed on one of those televised cooking shows and we’re in LA so naturally this is the place to be on a Friday night.
I had been talking to this guy I’d “met” online and he was actually supposed to be meeting us here. Maybe that’s why Chloe and Trey are fighting because Chloe is kind of my wingman since the guy, Parker, is bringing a friend. Chloe assured me it was no big deal, that things with her and Trey were super casual but maybe jealousy has reared its ugly head. But this could end up working in Chloe’s favor though. So maybe she’s milking it now.
I glance down at my turquoise Rolex Datejust watch, a high school graduation gift from JP that I still wear.But where the hell is she?
We were supposed to meet here a half hour earlier than we told the guys to give us a chance to have a drink and prepare our exit strategies just in case.
This was the first date I’d been on since things ended with JP and I was more than a little nervous. Not only did I feel the ache of JP every time my heart took a beat but he was the only man I’d ever been with seriously so I’d never really “dated.”
I look down at what I’m wearing; a short black dress that hit just above my knees and hugged all my curves underneath my favorite leather jacket and I’d paired it with my classic black Jimmy Choo pumps. I was probably really overdressed for a first date but that’s just me and judging by all the women in the room, I’m the perfect amount of dressed.
“Hi hi hi sorry!” Chloe takes the seat diagonal from me at the four-person square table and presses her cheek to mine and makes a kiss sound. “I changed four times.”
“Why? Are you interested in Parker’s friend now?”
“No, I’m interested in making Trey jealous and I want him to think about me on a date with another man while I’m wearing this.” She turns around for me to see the complete look and she does look hot. A long dark green dress with a slit all the way up her thigh to the point where if she moves a certain way, she may expose something. The dress is a little demurrer up top but still gives a hint of cleavage and she’s wearing her hair up to expose her neck which I’ve learned is Trey’s weakness.
“You’re going to kill him.”
“That’s the point.” She grabs the cosmo that I’d ordered her. “You’re a goddess.” She downs it in one gulp before looking around the room to order another. “How many have you had?”
“This is the first.”
“Okay we need at least one more.”
About fifteen minutes later, Parker and his friend show up and immediately I regret agreeing to the date. I was anxious, slightly buzzed and completely freaking out over the fact that this man was not JP. All I wanted to do was end the date early and go home and stare at pictures of him while I masturbated.
I know, horrible idea.
My eyes fly open as I realize I barely remember that first date.Was it that unmemorable?I blink my eyes several times and sit up in the bathtub trying to rack my brain for the memories of that date. What Parker and I talked about. What we laughed about. I can’t remember much of the specifics. I can barely remember what he wore and I have half of JP’s wardrobe memorized. I remember us being there and then going home and actually using my vibrator while I thought about JP.
Wow.
How did I go from that to being engaged?I do remember more about the second date and the fifth and the tenth and how sweet he was and the time my car broke down after studying super late at the library and he came to my rescue because my parents were out of town and they were always my second call when I needed somethingafter JP.
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing and I let out a sigh of relief that JP is calling finally. I pick up my phone and my heart sinks when I realize that not only is itnotJP but it’s Parkerandit’s a FaceTime.I wonder if I could just not answer it and say I fell asleep. No, I’m already on thin ice about not answering the phone and he seems to be wary about trusting me.
With reason.I wince at the implication my subconscious makes that I am in fact not at all trustworthy.
Fuck. I have to answer this.
It’s not lost on me that I try to angle myself so that nothing is exposed for the camera. I prop my phone up against something and answer the call.
“Hi.”
His eyebrows raise when he notices that I’m in the bathtub and he smiles. “Hi beautiful.”
