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“V…”
“Shay.” She shoots me a look. “You wouldn’t have told me if you didn’t want this.”
She’s right that I had expected this, but I tell Veronica everything, and keeping this from her wouldn’t have lasted a day because we can read each other easily. “I told you because you’re my best friend.”
She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I hope that means she’s getting over the idea of going out tonight for me to drink my sorrows.
She pulls out her phone and begins scrolling. “That girl is hideous by the way.”
“No, she’s not.” I sigh. “A terrible actress, yes, and the only reason she got that part allegedly is because she fucked the executive producer, but you know what? That’s hearsay so who knows if it’s even true? Maybe she got it because she was fucking Paxton.” The back of my head prickles forcing tears back into my eyes and I do my best to blink them away. “But sheispretty and it’s pissing me off.” Sparkling green eyes and tanned skin and gorgeous long wavy dark hair. I spend hours and thousands of dollars to get my hair to do what hers does naturally.It’s fucking irritating.And now she’s had my man inside of her.
I flex my fists picturing taking a swing at herand himonce. I’m not violent and my parents are probably turning over in their graves at the thought of me hitting anyone, but I wasfurious.
“You looked good when you left. Not a ton of questions as to why you left early. Of course, some, but nothing with any substantial proof. It seems Paxton left shortly after you did and he was alone. Do you want to see?” She holds out her phone and I see him emerging from the club in the Valentino suit I’d picked out.
Was he thinking of me when he pulled off the clothes I’d bought him? Did he look down at his wrist and see my initials he’d had tattooed on him when he’d wrapped his hand in her hair? Was he reminded of me and just didn’t care?
Did he ever care?
“No.” In this moment, I care less about what everyone thought and how anything is being perceived and more about how badly it hurts and how I’m ever going to get through this. How, in two weeks, I’m supposed to begin the press tour for the final season of the dramedy that made me famous. A show that might get me my first Emmy nomination after this past season.How am I supposed to play someone who’s generally happy when I feel like there’s a hole in my chest?Paxton and I had several upcoming appearances and parties we were supposed to attend together, and when you’re in the limelight it isn’t as simple as “not showing up.”
Not showing up to commitments makes a woman look difficult, undependable, and overall,a diva. In this situation, it could look like I’ve let personal problems affect my job or my responsibilities. As a black woman, the speculation could potentially be even harsher depending on the news outlet.
“Did you actually walk in and catch them?”
“Yes, and I see it every time I close my eyes.”
She scrunches her nose in disgust and shakes her head. “I am shocked. Shit, Shay, I’m so sorry. I thought…” She trails off.
“I know, I thought it too.” I thought we were moving towards more. I’m twenty-three now but we started dating when I was twenty, and in Hollywood, a three-year relationship with no drama or scandals is a lifetime.
Every other day, news outlets questioned if we were engaged or if I was pregnant. They were always camped outside of my house or his to see where we’d stayed the night before when we were both in town. I was constantly on baby watch and there were always pictures zoomed in on my left hand in search of an engagement ring.
Not that we’d really discussed marriage…but again, perception.
And the perception is that we are this gorgeous, successful, talented power couple that is very much in love and very happy.
Ugh.
The worst part about all of this is I thought the same.
“I still think we should go out tonight,” Veronica says interrupting my thoughts. “A night out with your best friend who is also friends with a lot of guys from a very popular LA basketball team! And a baseball team…and hockey.”
I chuckle in response. “Let me take a nap and see how I feel.”
“Nap by the pool.” She motions towards my backyard at my gorgeous pool.
“Is that your way of saying you’re staying over tonight?”
“Obviously!” She pads down the hall towards my staircase.
My house has ten bedrooms, one of which is Veronica’s whenever she stays over.
When I make it to the foyer, I see my house manager, Annette has moved my suitcases, and when I make it to my room, I see the open empty suitcase on my bed indicating that all of my clothes have been put away.
My bedroom is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s located at the back of the house overlooking my terrace and my pool as well as my large backyard that sits in front of a small forest of trees. There’s a gate that goes around the back to keep people out, but my backyard is the length of at least two football fields. I have a huge bay window and bench built in for me to sit and read or just stare out the window and think about everythingor nothing.I have two bookshelves built into the wall that are separated by a fireplace set between them that I love reading in front of but my bed is the best part. A king set a bit off the ground that sometimes I needed to run and jump to get on to especially if I’ve had a few drinks.
I know Veronica wants to relax by the pool, but I want my soft, satin sheets and my blackout curtains. I want to shut out the world and forget this whole shitty day ever happened.
