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Derek drops a shot glass and it clatters against the cart. “Fuck,” he grumbles as he tries to clean up the spilled tequila. Veronica chokes on her drink and her eyes snap to Jeremy. “Excuse me?!” Her eyes snap to my shocked ones. “His what?”
“What?” I look at Jeremy and then at Damian. “What?” I shake my head. “Jeremy, what the actual fuck?”
Ihaven’t spoken and it’s because fury is raging through me. I shoot Jeremy a glare and despite the look of contrition that I’m sure is for Shay’s benefit, I know he’s feeling smug by her reaction, meaning that I hadn’t told her.
I knew this was a conversation I needed to have with Shay, but for Jeremy to explode this all over her due to jealousy and resentment over the fact that we’re together enrages me. I’ve never been more certain that he has feelings for her, and this shit endsnow.
“Shay—” Jeremy starts and she puts a hand up silencing him and turns her gaze to me with wide brown eyes that are looking at me curiously. They don’t seem sad but confused and maybe a little angry.
“Inside,” she says standing up and I follow behind her. I don’t know what I’m walking into when she closes the door to the patio behind her and crosses her arms.
“You’ve been married? You said you’ve never been in love, that you didn’t want to get married! That’s why you broke up with Simone! You lied to my face!” She says all of this within the span of a few seconds, her voice getting progressively louder and more excited with each statement.
“I wasn’t married to Simone.”
“Oh, that makes it better? Who? When?”
I let out a sigh. “It’s not what you’re thinking. I was not in love with her. I’ve never been in love until I met you. It wasn’t romantic.” I hear Veronica yelling on the patio and I’m surprised that I have somewhat of an ally in her because she sounds like she’s letting Jeremy have it.
I grab Shay’s hand and gently move her away from the door and I’m grateful she at least lets me touch her. I lead her down the hallway towards her office and shut the glass French doors behind us before guiding her to the couch. I sit on the coffee table in front of her and stroke her knees gently. “Do you trust me?”
“I did. What is going on, Damian?”
I did.Those words sting like shit.
“About six years ago, after Simone and I broke up and a little before I met you, a friend of mine—my best friend’s fiancée to be more specific, was diagnosed with cancer. My best friend, Rob, was killed in combat while we were overseas and,” I sigh as the pain of losing him resurfaces. “I promised him I would look out for her.” A tear rolls down her face and I reach out to wipe under her eyes. “I felt somewhat responsible for what happened for a long time.” I wince. “I tried and I just…there was an explosion.” The words get caught in my throat and it’s as if I’m back there again. It’s been almost ten years and I can still be transported back to that moment when I lost my best friend like it’s real time. Shay climbs into my lap and wraps her arms around me tightly and I’m grateful for the comfort.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” she whispers against my neck. Her lips touch my skin as she speaks and the small touch of her lips on me calms my nerves.
I swallow, wanting to get out of the headspace of the haunting and painful memories. “I was going to tell you, baby. Believe me. I didn’t anticipate anyone beating me to it.” Anger floods me and I can’t believe that motherfucker did this.
How did he even find out? Did he have someone look into this?
“She had lost her job and her insurance lapsed…” I sigh. “I couldn’t watch her die.”
“Have you ever been involved with her…romantically?”
“Never,” I tell her. I know this situation may be difficult to take in but I can ease these fears because I’ve never touched her. “We were married on paper so she could have access to my medical coverage. That’s it. She’s in remission and ended up getting a new job and we got divorced last year.” She pulls back and moves out of my lap and I already miss the comfort of her body pressed against mine. “Tell me you believe me. I didn’t love her. It wasn’t romantic.”
She leans back against the couch and rubs her forehead. “I believe you, Damian, but it doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me this. I would have understood. It makes me wonder what else you’re keeping from me. You’re such a mystery and now I feel like there’s so much I don’t know about you. You had a wife for the majority of the time I’ve known you and I had no idea.”
“Because it didn’t mean anything. I only talked to her about how she was doing and that was even few and far between. She had a strong support system and I’m across the country. I never even saw her.”
She stands up and gives me a hard look that lets me know she’s pissed. “That’s not the point, Damian.”
“What reason would I have had to tell you then?”
She narrows her eyes. “You could have told me when things changed between us.”
“I was planning to.”
“Easy to say that now.” She snaps back.
“Baby, it’s been three weeks.”
“You told me you love me.”
“More than anything,” I respond and I see her hard eyes soften slightly at those words.
