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Instead of fighting me on this like I expected, he lowers his gaze in a very un-Beck fashion. “I should have told you, I’m sorry. You’ll always be my little girl in my eyes.”
Heart aching, I step forward and wrap my arms around him. He returns the hug, humming softly at my familiar touch. My eyes slide closed, and I enjoy this, because I get the feeling we won’t get many more of these moments together. A premonition from the goddess or practical thinking? I assume I’ll have to leave my pack when all of this is over, as Joel won’t fit within my own. His alpha wolf is too strong to live under another alpha, not to mention how Syn will fit into all this, but I’m getting too far ahead of myself. I’ve got to survive these trials first,thenI can worry about living arrangements.
The sound of conversation around us changes, and excitement grows in the air, so I pull away from my father to glance around. Almost everyone is heading towards the exit, their eyes alight with a happiness I’ve not seen whilst I’ve been here, like the weight of the trials have been lifted from them. Champions and spectators alike file out, including many of our own pack.
“Where’s everyone going?” I ask softly, my own mood picking up, feeling the happiness and a sense of freedom in the air.
“They are going to run,” my father replies with a smile, his own eyes glinting with excitement. Although he’s shifted thousands of times over his lifetime, pack runs still hold the same excitement for him, one that’s infectious, making me smile. “The moon is high in the sky, and the weather is perfect.” He seems to realise something as his gaze drops to me, then his eyes flick around the room, landing on the dais where the councilmen are still sitting, still as statues. “Although maybe you shouldn’t go, Laelia…”
Because of my wolf, and I’ll just be reminding everyone that I’m different. I try to hide the fact that his words offend me, but in the end, I give up, letting him see my hurt. Once again, I know he’s trying to protect me, but why should I hide? Why shouldn’t I get to run with my family, with my pack? Everyone has seen my wolf, which is the whole reason I’m here. I love Star, she’s beautiful and part of my soul, I couldn’t—no, Iwouldn’tchange her for anything in the world.
“No, I won’t hide. I have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Joel makes a noise of agreement from behind me, and I feel his pride through the bond. He’s honoured to have a mate who won’t hide or back down. Scott nods from my side, approval lining his expression. As a lone wolf, he knows all about being shunned and expected to hide, so I knew I’d have his support in this. Looking up at my father, I see pride shining back at me in his eyes, and I take a moment to realise how hard all of this must be for him. The constant war between letting me be my own person and fighting my own battles, and letting the possessive, overprotective nature of his wolf take over.
Releasing a breath, I let go of my frustration and hold my hand out for him to take—a peace offering. “Let’s go for a run.”
He stares at it, then links his fingers through mine, raising it up to kiss the back of my hand. “Yes, little moon, let’s run.”
My father, Scott, Joel, and I and our combined packs make our way from the hall, ignoring the heavy stare of the council. Quiet anticipation hovers over our group, some having low, excited conversations as we cross the park and head to the forest at the edge of the town.
The moon is almost full and sits high in the sky, shining her brilliant light on us. As soon as we stepped outside, I instantly felt better, calmer, and I knew that the goddess is looking down on us tonight. Lanterns are lit, creating a glowing path between the trees for us to follow to the clearing.
It looks like most of the town has come, and the atmosphere is so at odds to the first time we all gathered here. Back then, it was tense, since many people didn’t know what to expect and the consequences of not attending were deadly. All of the packs remained separate, not speaking to those belonging to other groups. Now, it’s difficult to tell where one pack ends and another begins. Friendly conversations, smiles, and laughter fill the space.
There’s no one here to lead the session, but as several near the front start to remove their clothing and kneel on the ground, others take that as their cue, doing the same. Couples help each other undress, the conversations continuing—nudity isn’t something to be squeamish about amongst wolves.
A gentle touch rests on my back as I kick off my shoes, and I know without looking who it is.
“Mate.” Joel’s voice is soft, just like his touch, and holds a question.
All of a sudden, the act of undressing feels so much more intimate. However, I’ve always seen the couples from my pack helping each other undress at pack runs, and I’ve dreamed of the time when I’d be doing the same with my mate. Slowly, I reach up and gather my hair, pulling it to one side and glancing up at Joel through my lashes, silently giving him permission.
He moves his hands to undo the zip over my spine, his touch gentle. When I turn around, I let the dress slip from my shoulders and drop to the ground, leaving me in only my leggings and underwear. Quickly removing it, I stand before him completely naked and reach up to unbutton his shirt, ignoring my burning cheeks.
I feel Scott’s gaze on me during the whole process, and I only dare raise my eyes to his when Joel has finished undressing. I expect to see a scowl or some other sign of displeasure, but I’m surprised when I see a glint of arousal and want in his gaze. The whole thing had been very PG. My father is here, after all, and he would have thrown a fit if he thought we were being inappropriate in front of everyone, but even so, I feel like something important just happened between Scott and me, despite the fact we didn’t touch during the entire thing.
Joel runs his hand through my hair and kisses my forehead before dropping to his knees like everyone else, until it’s only me standing. Reaching for my wolf, I coax her forward, not that it takes much. She’s been trapped inside me for too long. I should have found time before now to let her out and stretch her legs.
Tilting my head back and looking up at the moon, I smile in tranquillity. Each breath I take fills my lungs with the crisp night air, and it almost feels like there’s magic in the air as everyone begins to shift. Unable to resist the call of the shift with so many changing around me, I release Star from my chest. She looks more beautiful than ever tonight, her body of starlight glowing in the darkness. Kneeling, I smile at her and lift my arms as she steps right up to me, pressing her body against me, and the feel of the silky fur tickles my nose as I bury my face against her neck.
A cold, damp nose nudges my arm, and when I look up, I see Joel’s wolf. He’s huge, dwarfing both Star and me, and although he might look menacing to some, I can feel his pleasure and excitement at being in this form, reminding me exactly who this is. A yip catches my attention, and I shift my gaze to Scott’s wolf who is sitting a few meters away, watching with a tilt of his head. His hair is dark and longer than Joel’s.
Star seems intrigued by him and pads forward, sniffing the air as she tries to decide if his friend or foe. Something must pass between them, because the next thing I know, they are rubbing up against each other and playing. Chuckling softly, I revel in being surrounded by wolves, both my pack and others. Any feuds seem to have been put aside tonight, although now that I think about it, I don’t remember seeing Grove’s pack or Bates. Not wanting to cloud my mind with thoughts of them, I shake my head and focus on those around me.
Near the front of the clearing, a wolf howls, triggering the others to tip back their heads and sing their reply. The sound is eerie, making the hair on my arms stand on end. Then, before I know it, everyone is moving, running through the trees in the same direction. Scrabbling to my feet with a grin on my face, I race forward, Star weaving a path of light before me.
We should be falling behind, since there’s no way that I’m as fast as full-grown werewolves in this form, yet I seem to stay solidly in the middle of the group that’s not only made up of my own friends and pack, buteveryone. I don’t think much of it now, but this will be something that I’ll think about often over the next couple of days.
Excited yips and the sound of many paws running through the trees fill the air, and I let myself forget about the upcoming trial, even if only for a few minutes. Instead, I allow myself to bask in this feeling.
I know I’ll dream of this tonight, of running through the trees with a hundred wolves at my side and the feeling of being totally free.
ChapterFourteen
So much for being free. I’m once again locked in the small, grey room before the next trial. I pace the tiny space, and I must have done it a hundred times already, but I can’t keep still. Not knowing what’s happening or how the others are faring is only making my anxiety worse.
I hate these fucking rooms.
