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However, his eyes light up when he sees me, a smile pulling at his pale lips. “You came.”
His response simultaneously fills me with warmth and heartbreak. Witnessing just how much seeing me has brought him joy makes me want to break down into tears. That’s not what I’m going to do, though, at least not in front of him. This isn’t about me, and if I get upset, he’ll feel the need to comfort me. No, I’m here for him.
“Of course I did. I had to see you before the trial.”
I walk over and drop down into the chair beside his bed. He looks me up and down with a raised brow, which makes me smile. I already know what he’s going to say before he speaks.
“Nice suit,” he teases, causing me to roll my eyes, exactly like he knew it would. Even like this, he’s still trying to make me smile.
Exhausted from our short conversation, he falls back against the pillow, but he turns his head so he can still see me. My heart aches as I watch him struggle for breath, having to work so hard just to stay alive. Tears prick at my eyes again, and I know I need to distract myself before I can’t hold it together any longer.
“The pack sends their love, and they say you need to get better. It’s no fun without you around.” I meant the comment to be light-hearted, but I watch as his expression drops, a pained look taking its place.
“Laelia, I think it’s pretty clear that bar a miracle, that’s not going to happen,” he replies gently, as though he’s more worried about my reaction than his own mortality. He’s talking about his death, and once again, he’s more concerned about me.
Unable to hold it back any longer, a single tear rolls down my cheek, and I chuckle, only there’s no humour behind it. Swiping the tear away, I reach forward and take his cold hand between mine. “Then I’ll pray for a miracle.” I smile, pushing as much of my faith into my words and expression as possible. If anyone can save Nicolai, it’s the goddess.
He stares at me, scanning my face as he memorises every inch of it. Releasing a slow breath, he shakes his head. He’s so weak now, but I can see the pain in his eyes. I’m about to go and call the healers, to get him something for his discomfort, until I realise this isn’t a physical pain, but an emotional one.
“This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.” He slumps back into his pillow, staring up at the ceiling as despondency takes over.
Heart cracking at seeing my strong friend brought down to a shadow of himself, I squeeze his hand gently, rubbing it between mine and attempting to warm it.
“What?” I ask quietly.
Snorting, he looks over at me again, wincing as he turns his head, the effort of that small movement exhausting. “I was going to date you and prove to you that I deserved a place beside you even though I wasn’t one of your predestined mates.”
My heart pounds in my chest, and I’m surprised it can’t be heard over his quiet breathing and the rhythmic beep of the monitor he’s attached to. Had he told me this before the trials, before I discovered my mates, I would have been over the moon. I’ve had a crush on him for years, and since we’ve been here, I’ve felt us grow closer as more than friends. However, Ididdiscover my mates, two of them, and it’s made things difficult. Mates have an undeniable draw to each other, a connection that can’t be replicated, but it doesn’t guarantee love. I’ve never heard of someone with mates loving someone whowasn’tpredestined for them, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. If that were the case, then I shouldn’t feel drawn to him or Scott.
I can almost see it in my mind—Nicolai at my side with Syn and Joel, loving and caring for me, only it seems it was never meant to be.
“It looks like I’ve run out of time.” His voice is raspy and full of regret, pulling me from my daydreams.
For a moment, I think he’s talking about dating me, but as I follow his gaze, I realise he’s not lookingatme, but behind me. Frowning, I turn and see several guards waiting by the door. They fill the whole doorway, their body language intimidating as their hands hover over the weapons strapped to their hips.
My chair makes a squeal of protest as I push away from it to face the guards. I feel nauseous, especially with their show of intimidation, but I’m not ready to leave Nicolai’s side. This might be the last time I ever see him, and I want to make the most of it.
“I just got here, and the trial isn’t for hours,” I argue, keeping my voice level and my hands where they can see them. They seem twitchy, and I’m sure they wouldn’t hesitate to subdue me.
The guard in front sneers, his gaze travelling over me. “Come with us. We will use force if necessary.” His eyes gleam with promise, and I know he’s just daring me to step out of line. Hewantsto hurt me and is looking for an excuse.
The presence within me flares up at the threat, and for a moment, I think about standing my ground and refusing to leave, but a cold hand wraps around mine. Glancing down, I follow the hand back to Nicolai who’s shaking his head. He looks awful, like all of the energy has been sucked from him.
My anger gutters. No, there will be a time to stand up to the council, but right now isn’t it. That’s not the last image of me Nicolai should have. Swallowing against the sudden lump at the back of my throat, I give him a weak smile.
“I’ll come and see you after the trial,” I promise.
He smiles, nodding slightly as he sinks into the pillows, all of the fight draining from him. I suck in a deep breath and borrow strength from my wolf as I turn and level a glare at the guards.
“I’m ready. Lead the way.”
* * *
I pace in the small empty room before the trial. After what I just witnessed, I should be devastated, and there will be time for that, but I can’t allow my mind to become clouded, not when I’m so close to earning my freedom.
I realise now why I was given permission to leave the compound this morning. What I thought was an unusual act of kindness was just a way to try and hurt me. They wanted me to see how sick Nicolai is to break my heart before they dragged me to the next trial. I should have seen it coming. They want me to be so shattered by what’s happening to my friend that I’ll make a mistake and fail.
However, they have vastly underestimated me. If there’s anything that I’ve learned during these trials, it’s that I’m way more capable than I thought.
