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Why do I keep doing this? Let the man leave. It doesn’t matter what he says. You don’t need answers; you need him gone.
Jay pulls a small object from his pocket and tosses it in my direction. On instinct, I catch it. The cold metal is a shock when it lands in my cupped hands. At first, I don’t recognize it, but when I turn it over, I catch sight of a familiar inscription.
Happy Birthday, Kit Cat
Love, Cash Money
My iPod.
Why the hell does Jay have this?
When I look up, he’s standing in the doorway again. “I left you a song, Kitten. Make sure you listen to it. Consider it your first assignment from your new boss.”
I give him the finger, but he just laughs as he walks out the door.
“Asshole.”
I spin the cool metallic device in my hand, begging myself not to give in to his little games. That’s all I ever was to him. A game.
Convince the girl who only dates girls to kiss you. Take the virginity of the girl whose father you despise. Tell her you love her and then ghost her and break her heart.
I grind my teeth as an ocean of memories washes over me. Of the countless nights I dialed his number over and over again, allowing it to ring out until my phone would die in my hands.
I’ll drown in the memories if I continue down this path.
In the end, though I hate myself a little for it, curiosity gets the best of me. The need to know, to keep him from holding one more thing over me, eats at me. So I take the headphones he dropped on my desk, press them to my ears, and hit Play.
When Eminem sings “Guess who’s back,” I actually cough out a laugh. Well played, Mr. Hanson. Well fucking played.
From: [email protected]
June 3, 2022
Subject: Coffee?
Morning Kitten,
Hope you enjoyed your song. Have coffee with me today.
Thinking of you always.
Love,
Jay
From [email protected]
June 3, 2022
Re: Coffee?
Please do not contact me unless it’s about work.
And if you don’t understand that…maybe you’ll understand this.
