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I’m just so tired of all the lies.
I’m tired of pretending Jay isn’t the most important person on earth to me. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not, period. For years, I’ve hidden my true self from every single person who knows me. I’ve given them bits and pieces of myself, but never my full truths.
Except Jay.
He’s always pushed me to be my most authentic self. And he’s loved every version of that person.
When he enters the bedroom, I can’t help but gape at him. He’s beautiful. It’s stupid, really, how good-looking he is. How in love with him I am. His black tuxedo tugs across his broad shoulders as he stretches out his arm to fix the cuff on his left wrist. Immediately, I go to him, unable to fight the pull of his presence. His bowtie is draped around his neck, and he smiles down at me as I fasten it into place.
“You look beautiful, wife.”
I sigh.
“Everything okay?” he asks, placing his hands over mine, stopping my work on his tie.
I choke back the nerves jumbling my mind. My little brother is getting married. Now is not the time.
“All’s fine. But…maybe you shouldn’t come today,” I say, glancing away from him.
His shoulders sag. “What? What’s going on?”
I shake my head, avoiding eye contact. “Today’s about Grace and Cash. I don’t want my baggage to ruin their day.”
“I’m baggage?” he says, his voice weaker.
My heart twists. “Baby, no. But I don’t want to have to be mean to you. Or fight with you. I don’t want to put on a show.”
Jay’s heavy breath breaks me and I pull him in close, pressing my heart against his.
When I showed him the text message from Vanessa, I was upset, of course. But it was the fear in his eyes that solidified it for me. Every lie Jay has ever told, every action he’s taken, has always been for my benefit. Did he force this marriage originally? Yes. Did he use Vanessa to hurt my family? Also, yes.
Those are truths I have to live with.
But a single sentence doesn’t tell an entire story. There are shades and sides and viewpoints. Like the way an object is turned, the way the light hits it, changes the appearance completely. The moon exists at all hours of the day, but it isn’t until the sun’s rays light it up that the rest of the world can see it.
I am Jay’s sun. Without me, he looks like the villain. His actions make no sense, and only greed can explain what he’s done.
But if my family had known the danger I was in all those years ago, if they could see the way Jay lights up when I’m around, if they would take the time to understand him, to see the beauty within all his darkness, they’d realize that I’ve been lighting him up all along.
They’d see what I see, the most beautiful man with the most tortured heart, who would quite literally live in darkness for the rest of his life if it meant that I continued to shine.
“We stick with the plan,” I whisper against his chest.
Jay rests his hands on either side of my neck and angles me so that our mouths are only a breath apart. “Ican’tlose you.”
“You won’t,” I rush out, then press my lips to his. Our kiss is frantic, filled with passion, begging, need. Every emotion we feel is filtered into this kiss, and soon I’m removing the tie I just fixed and he’s slipping my dress off my body. And then my husband is sinking into me as we both plead with the universe to realign the moon and the sun so they can somehow find a way to shine at the same time.
* * *
“We’ll fight,and you leave with Frank,” Jay says as the limo pulls up to the wedding venue, which happens to be the place we reunited last year. The garden where Jay sank back into me for the first time and reclaimed what has always been his.
My smile is tight, and my heart beats wildly, but I nod. “I know the plan.”
Squeezing my hand, he keeps me from reaching for the door. “If things don’t go as discussed—”
I hold my finger to his lips. “No.”
With a frown, Jay pulls my hand from his lips and flips it so that my palm is flat against his mouth and my tattoo is pressed against his lips. He keeps me locked in his gaze as he kisses my skin softly. “If things don’t go as planned, I want you to be happy.”
