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The bed dips, and then her warmth hits my back. She snuggles in behind me like she does each time she finds me in this state. She’s so strong. She’s handled the whole situation so much better than I have. Which is pathetic. I’m the one who should be comforting her. But sometimes, I just can’t.
Two months ago, my world was turned upside down, and I was rocked to the core. And I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.
I don’t know how to accept all we lost.
“Cat,” Cynthia calls from the door.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I know.”
“We’ll miss the flight if you don’t get up.”
Blowing out a breath, I focus on the picture on my nightstand. It’s of Jay and me on our wedding day. It feels like a lifetime ago. Two hopeful people standing under the stars, making promises of forever.
Another tear falls.
Cynthia sits on the corner of the bed and places a gentle hand on my hip. “Look at the two of you,” she whispers with a soft smile. “You have to focus on the good, honey.”
I nod again. It’s been my go-to. Nod through the pain. Smile. Hold myself together.
But she’s right. I promised Jay I would do this. Promised him I’d be there for our family. No matter what. His fierce Cat forever. So I press my fingers to my lips and touch my husband’s picture. “I’ll see you soon, baby.”
* * *
The sightof the nameBouvierscrawled across the 787 makes my chest squeeze with pride, despite my blues. The James plane is far less ostentatious, but everything about this screams Jay, and that makes me smile.
He makes me smile.
He always has.
Garreth and Hayden are standing by the stairs when the limo drops us off. Hayden rushes over and pulls me in for a tight hug as soon as I step out of the vehicle. “You okay?”
I swallow my nerves. “Yeah, I just want to get there.”
He nods and reaches for Chloe. “Come on, Chlo. Last one to the plane is a rotten egg!” The two of them take off at a run.
Garreth steps up and mutters, “Jesus Christ” under his breath.
“Hey, Gar.”
“You ready?” he asks, his expression somber.
I wish everyone would stop coddling me. Of course I’m not ready. My brother’s best friend died only a few dozen yards from me. One minute, he was kissing me, and in the next, he was gone.
Telling my brother that his best friend is gone was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He came back from his honeymoon excited to start his life with Grace, only to find out his best friend was dead.
Losing Frank devastated every single one of us.
But watching Chloe crumple at her father’s hospital bed? Thatgutted me. Holding his hand while—
“Kitten, why are you staring at the plane like it’s going to eat you?”
I suck in a breath as my husband saunters up beside me, his beautiful blue eyes lighting up at my shocked expression.
“I thought we were meeting you in Paris—”
Before I can chide him for not telling me he’d be here, he scoops me up and spins me around. When he sets me on my feet again, he says, “Wanted to fly with you guys.”
“You flew home from Paris just so you could get on a planebackto Paris with us?”
