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“Babe,no.Do not cry over that asshole. I’m sorry. I was teasing. You wanna skip the meeting? Let’s go eat cake at Dexter’s photoshoot instead. You know how mad he gets when the models get hungry.”
I guffaw. “You’re an asshole.”
“But I’myourasshole. Seriously, let’s skip the meeting.”
With a sigh, I scan the beach outside my window, taking in the people on the sand. The families. The couples. “I’ll be fine. We need to be there. I’ve given thirteen years to this magazine; I’m not letting him take it from me.”
“That’s my girl,” she replies. “Hey, how did yesterday go, by the way?”
I bite my lip. “I didn’t go.”
“Catherine James,” she reprimands in a hushed tone.
“I don’t need bad news on top of everything else right now, Soph. I’ll do it for Chlo, I promise. But just…I can’t stand the idea of feeling weak right now.”
“You aren’t weak, Cat. No matter what the news is, you are the strongest woman I’ve ever met. And you’ve met my mother…”
“Thanks,” I whisper. Then I straighten my back and blink away the emotions threatening to rear their ugly heads. “I’ll meet you in the conference room in ten minutes.”
“You got this, babe,” she reminds me.
But do I?
10
I’M GONNA BE (500 MILES) BY SLEEPING AT LAST
Jay
“Elyse, where are the waffles?” I ask in a panic. The meeting is starting in five minutes, and everything needs to be perfect.
Elyse doesn’t even try to hide her laughter. “I’ve never seen you so disheveled, Mr. Hanson.”
“The waffles,” I grunt.
The ridiculous woman only smiles serenely, not bothered by my tantrum in the least. “The owner said he’d have them here by 9:55.” She flicks her wrist to check her watch just as a man walks in.
I recognize him immediately, and for the first time this morning, I feel like I can take a full breath.
“Jay,” he says. His soft voice is one I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. He places the bag of food on the table and moves toward me, offering me his hand.
I grab for it, and he pulls me toward his chest and claps me on the back in a manly hug. When we pull apart, he smiles. “I take it the plan is in motion?”
I breathe out a sigh and look around the room. “Appears so.”
“Let’s not waste another minute, then,” he says, heading toward the bag and helping Elyse set up breakfast.
Years ago, after losing Cat, I spent months in a fog. The only time I felt remotely at peace was on Sundays at the farmers’ market. She was living in Paris, her life a world away from mine. As it needed to be. I didn’t dare go anywhere that would lead them to linking her to me, but the farmers’ market was a safe place to get lost in our memories. On Sundays, I’d have a waffle at Ivan’s stall and pretend for a few moments that Cat was there with me. That the laughter from a woman passing by or stopping at the stall next to me belonged to her. After my fourth or fifth visit, Ivan asked if he could join me on his break, and after that, he sat with me each week. At the time, he was the only person I could talk to so openly. And even then, I guarded a lot of what I said, certain they had someone following me.
Thirteen years of Sundays spent together means Ivan is like family. He and Theo and my brothers are all I have left. And now I’ve lost Theo.
He isn’t gone, but the steady contact I once had with him is. I can’t just waltz into the James Estate and demand they let me see him. So though he’s still alive, the relationship between us has all but ended.
People trickle into the conference room wearing surprised looks. Filled with pride, I take in the table in front of me. There are jugs filled with water, orange juice, and coffee. Pastries and bagels are piled high in wicker baskets. Napkins, plates, and silverware are set up in front of every place setting, and Ivan is setting up the waffle bar on a side table, being sure to include the fresh strawberries and homemade whipped cream I requested—Cat’s favorite.
Sophie and Cat arrive together, chatting with their heads down as they step inside the conference room. Cat almost walks straight into Ivan, but before she can slam into him, he gently clasps her arms. At the contact, she looks up at him with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she says.
He smiles and takes her in. It’s obvious by his warm smile that he recognizes her from the pictures I’ve shared over the years. Filled with pride that I was able to call her mine, even for a few short months, I couldn’t not show him the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
